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Downloaded from
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
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[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
4
00:00:57,274 --> 00:01:01,191
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[CLOCK TICKING]
5
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[HORSE NEIGHING]
[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
6
00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:24,736
["CONCERTO FOR STRINGS"
BY VIVALDI PLAYING]
7
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[BIRDS CHIRPING]
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[MUSIC CONTINUES]
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[WATER TRICKLING]
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[BELL DINGING]
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SIR CHAUNCEY: [MUFFLED] Help!
12
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[BELCHES, GROANS]
13
00:02:17,528 --> 00:02:18,964
The Bennetts
are nearly here, sir.
14
00:02:19,051 --> 00:02:21,576
SIR CHAUNCEY: [GROANS]
I've been poisoned!
15
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REGINALD: You've been
on a three-day drunk, sir.
16
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[SIR CHAUNCEY GROANS]
REGINALD: I did warn you.
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00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:27,843
SIR CHAUNCEY: You did
nothing of the sort.
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My innards are festering
with rot. [GROANS]
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Call the doctor! [GROANS]
[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
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REGINALD: I have a bowl
of peasant soup, raw eel,
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00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:36,504
a half loaf of pumpernickel,
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00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:38,245
and a glass of owl yolk
with vinegar,
23
00:02:38,332 --> 00:02:39,855
and a splash of whisky.
[SIR CHAUNCEY GROANS]
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00:02:39,942 --> 00:02:45,077
["DON GIOVANNI OVERTURE"
BY MOZART PLAYING]
25
00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:47,689
NARRATOR:
Sir George Chauncey Savage
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was an insolent Welsh upstart.
[GRUNTS, SLURPS] Oh, yes.
27
00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:51,910
NARRATOR: A low-bred ruffian
and opportunist...
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00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:54,217
Oh, yeah. [BELCHES, GROANS]
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00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:56,480
NARRATOR: ...who,
through unsavory efforts,
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00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:59,135
shameless swindles,
and social climbing
31
00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:01,964
managed to coax and court
a well-born wife,
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00:03:02,094 --> 00:03:04,793
Lady Savage
of the Yorkshire Savages,
33
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:08,231
only to squander what little
was left of her family estate
34
00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:10,277
on garish clothing,
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00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:15,673
boozing, whores, and of course,
his poison of choice, gambling.
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00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:16,761
SIR CHAUNCEY: Those.
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00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:19,460
NARRATOR: He agreed to take
the "Savage" name
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00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:22,898
in order to marry up,
and purchased his title of "Sir"
39
00:03:22,985 --> 00:03:25,466
with the ill-advised sale
of several paintings
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and parcels of land.
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[PIGS GRUNTING, SNORTING]
NARRATOR: But despite appearances,
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he was nothing more than
the son of a penniless peddler.
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An outsider among
the ruling class,
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Chauncey never felt as if
he was good enough for her,
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or them, and most would agree.
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[SIR CHAUNCEY SPITS]
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I simply loathe the Bennetts.
Snobbish, paralytic bores.
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00:03:50,621 --> 00:03:52,014
Do you see the way
he looks at me,
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with that probing sneer?
And his boorish wife.
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00:03:54,973 --> 00:03:56,888
She has all the charm
of a septic cyst.
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00:03:57,976 --> 00:03:59,630
I heard
a particularly vile story
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from a footman the other day,
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00:04:00,979 --> 00:04:02,720
involving Mr Bennett
and a syphilitic whore.
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Oh, pray tell.
[CHUCKLES]
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[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
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[PIG SNORTS]
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[GUNSHOTS]
[HORSES NEIGHING]
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[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
NARRATOR: Born in the slums of St Giles,
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Chauncey's valet
was a lowbred ruffian
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and opportunist
in his own right.
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SIR CHAUNCEY:
Stay where you are!
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[PASSENGERS BREATHE HEAVILY]
SIR CHAUNCEY: If you'll empty your pockets
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and kindly deliver
your valuables.
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There's a newly implemented tax
on nobles in the area.
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00:04:35,971 --> 00:04:37,146
Thank you kindly.
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[PROSTITUTES LAUGH]
The... Queen of Hearts!
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00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,673
NARRATOR: To maintain
his life of leisure
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00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,414
and quell his mounting debts...
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00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:46,068
[SMOOCHES, MOANS]
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00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:49,027
...Chauncey was quick
to include his loyal footman
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on trips to brothels,
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gambling halls...
[CLEARS THROAT]
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...and wherever
he thought it beneficial.
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SIR CHAUNCEY: Hurry.
PROSTITUTE: Stop him! Thief!
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JILTED HUSBAND: Come back here!
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SIR CHAUNCEY:
Don't shoot! She's lying!
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JILTED HUSBAND:
Thieving brigands!
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00:05:02,476 --> 00:05:04,129
NARRATOR: A rake on the make.
JILTED HUSBAND: Come back here!
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00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:05,740
[GUNSHOT]
Come on, sir.
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00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,219
[JILTED HUSBAND
YELLS INDISTINCTLY]
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00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,047
[PANTS] Slow down,
I'm wearing heels!
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00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:11,049
[GROUP LAUGHING]
[DICE RATTLING, CLATTERING]
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00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,921
NARRATOR: Chauncey had
various tricks and deceptions
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00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:15,489
on how best to achieve
his desired outcome.
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[DICE RATTLING]
[REGINALD COUGHS, SNIFFLES]
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00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:21,364
NARRATOR: He would masterfully
palm and replace his dice
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00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:22,757
with an altered pair...
[CLEARS THROAT]
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00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:24,280
that he had
meticulously melted...
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00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:27,152
Double, bubble,
toil and trouble.
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00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:30,721
Passions burn,
the bets are double. [BLOWS AIR]
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00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:34,116
...so that they almost always
landed on sixes.
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00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:38,729
I do not know how, Savage,
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00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:41,732
but you have cheated me,
ungentlemanly and odiously,
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00:05:41,819 --> 00:05:45,649
and on such grounds,
I demand satisfaction!
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How dare you.
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00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:49,392
[JOYFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
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NARRATOR:
Reginald was often tasked...
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SIR CHAUNCEY: Erm. Ready!
...with settling Chauncey's various financial squabbles
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and disagreements
by duel of sword or pistol.
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SIR CHAUNCEY: Fire!
[GUNSHOTS]
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NARRATOR:
As well as assist in evading
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00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:04,538
the increasingly frequent
visits of his vexed collectors.
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[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Where is he?
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00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:10,282
I'm afraid Sir Chauncey is away
on business in Hamburg.
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00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,806
Last month it was Paris,
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the month before that,
the West Indies.
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Don't meddle with me, boy!
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I've heard rumor my parcel
has been sold twice,
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possibly thrice.
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00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:22,947
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
NARRATOR: Chauncey had been slowly siphoning off
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parcels of their peerage.
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00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:26,516
A rather reckless
and intricate scheme
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00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:28,910
of over-leveraging
and double-dealing.
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00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:31,956
If the matter isn't sorted
appropriately and with haste,
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00:06:32,087 --> 00:06:34,263
I shall be forced
to call upon the authorities.
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I'll pass along the message.
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[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
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SIR CHAUNCEY: How is
Her Ladyship this morning?
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Seems she'll only speak to me
at social gatherings
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or at meals.
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00:06:47,276 --> 00:06:48,799
Well, I'm sure
it's just a rough patch, sir.
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00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:50,279
She hasn't touched me in months.
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00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:52,368
You're an acquired taste, sir.
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00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:54,892
Er. What shall I do
about our Mr Black?
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00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:57,112
He did seem a little...
perturbed earlier.
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00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:59,462
Ah, yes, parcel 11. [CHUCKLES]
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00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:02,509
A glorious swath of birch
and pine. [INHALES DEEPLY]
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00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:05,250
[SIGHS] Not to worry.
I've got it under control.
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00:07:05,599 --> 00:07:08,819
I'm not about to let some
greedy banker seize our home
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00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:11,909
and sully our name.
Is that blood?
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00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:15,347
REGINALD: Er. Pheasant, sir.
Oh, delicious. My favorite.
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00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:16,436
I know, sir.
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00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:18,568
SIR CHAUNCEY: I don't know
what I'd do without you.
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00:07:18,699 --> 00:07:21,353
Your loyalty and valor,
your skill of shot.
135
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:22,746
Well, you are many things, sir,
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00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:24,313
but a good shot
is not one of them.
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00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:25,445
Oh, it's not my fault.
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00:07:26,054 --> 00:07:28,273
Spectacles make me look
bookish and fat.
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00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,666
Hmm.
SIR CHAUNCEY: I don't tell you enough, but...
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00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:35,759
I care for you like a son, or...
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[FIREWOOD CRACKLING]
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...an affectionate dog.
[INHALES DEEPLY]
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00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:43,027
[GLORIFYING MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:45,639
[RAT SQUEAKS]
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00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,818
NARRATOR: Lady Savage had come
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00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:52,863
from a disgraced family
of nobility.
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00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:55,431
Though she still carried
a distinguished title
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00:07:55,649 --> 00:07:57,041
and the bluest of blood,
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00:07:57,389 --> 00:08:00,044
the Savages of Yorkshire
had fallen on hard times...
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00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:01,219
[LADY SAVAGE GASPS]
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00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:03,352
...and were merely a name
at this point.
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00:08:03,439 --> 00:08:05,485
This financial standing
was not helped
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00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:07,312
by her marriage to Chauncey,
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00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:10,272
but the heart is
a mercurial muscle. [GASPS, CHUCKLES]
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00:08:10,359 --> 00:08:12,796
NARRATOR: She fell
under his spell quite quickly,
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00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:15,364
and against all opposition
and criticism... [GASPS, GIGGLES]
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00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:17,148
...married him in a fortnight.
158
00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:20,935
She had never met anyone
quite like Chauncey.
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00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:22,676
[SIR CHAUNCEY GROWLS]
[CHUCKLES]
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00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:25,156
NARRATOR: But of course,
good times have a price.
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00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:27,985
[SIR CHAUNCEY SLURPS]
LADY SAVAGE: [CHUCKLING] Oh, Chauncey.
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00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:30,727
NARRATOR:
Their reckless spending
163
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:31,815
and misadventures
164
00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:34,339
had left them
on the precipice of peril.
165
00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:37,734
As gossips would say,
"They deserved each other."
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00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:40,824
I've never met a more
lifeless pair than the Bennetts.
167
00:08:40,911 --> 00:08:42,652
Tiresome teacups, they are.
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00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:45,394
Porcelain, painted,
and empty from ear to ear.
169
00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:47,831
Then why must you always
invite them over?
170
00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,354
Well, beggars can't be choosers.
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00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:50,660
If one doesn't have
dinner guests,
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00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:51,618
albeit dim and dull,
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00:08:52,053 --> 00:08:53,315
then one could wonder
if they ever ate at all.
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00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:54,664
DOROTHY: But we are here, ma'am.
175
00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:56,144
Oh, I know it's true,
but you're a servant,
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00:08:56,231 --> 00:08:57,232
you're always here.
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00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,495
And a paid guest,
however dear, doesn't count.
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00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:00,670
Indeed.
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00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:02,585
The only persons who are eager
to visit us these days
180
00:09:03,107 --> 00:09:05,632
are my husband's lenders
and dubious debt collectors.
181
00:09:05,719 --> 00:09:07,503
That man has never
met a ruffled coat
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00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:09,287
or a well-bosomed cunny
he hasn't lusted.
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00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:12,900
Maybe the gossips are right
and we deserve each other.
184
00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:14,902
DOROTHY: You speak too harshly
of yourself, ma'am.
185
00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:17,382
You're the only one
who understands me, Dorothy.
186
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:20,516
Are you sure
that this isn't too much?
187
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,259
Not at all, ma'am. I think
it shows great restraint.
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00:09:24,868 --> 00:09:27,262
LADY SAVAGE: Oh, shit!
Not again. [CLICKS TONGUE]
189
00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:29,569
Oh, get that ribbon
from over there.
190
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:33,007
[JOYFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
191
00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:37,446
DOROTHY: There you go.
LADY SAVAGE: That'll do.
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00:09:45,367 --> 00:09:46,324
[CLEARS THROAT]
193
00:09:46,455 --> 00:09:47,587
[BLOWS RASPBERRIES]
194
00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:00,600
[RAT SQUEAKS]
195
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,560
FANNY: "For the first time
in 500 years,
196
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:06,693
a total solar eclipse
is approaching London
197
00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:08,216
in less than a fortnight."
198
00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:10,174
"Such an eclipse occurs
199
00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:13,221
when a new moon drifts
between the sun and Earth
200
00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:15,658
like a lid,
smothering the sun black
201
00:10:15,745 --> 00:10:18,139
and casting its shadow
over the Earth's surface."
202
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:21,142
"Halley's eclipse
is the first of its kind,
203
00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:23,448
predicted on Newtonian theory,
and thus,
204
00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:26,147
a detailed map of its path
is illustrated below."
205
00:10:26,887 --> 00:10:29,629
[COACHMAN 1
YELLING INDISTINCTLY] [HORSES NEIGHING]
206
00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:38,812
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
207
00:10:39,029 --> 00:10:41,858
How is my little troublemaker
and her mischief of mice?
208
00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:44,469
Papa, promise you'll come play
after the Bennetts.
209
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,429
Only if Wolly promises
not to bite this time.
210
00:10:47,821 --> 00:10:50,258
Oh, can't promise that.
[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
211
00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:53,304
No footmen, of course.
MRS BENNETT: No, of course not.
212
00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:55,089
I just hope the pheasant...
[EXHALES HEAVILY]
213
00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:56,873
...isn't as vomit
as it was last time.
214
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,006
Oh, my goodness.
I was on the pot for days.
215
00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:00,485
I know. Squitting.
216
00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:03,097
Mr and Mrs Bennett,
how lovely to see you.
217
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:04,707
Right this way.
218
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:08,102
[CROWS CAWING]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
219
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,152
[CHOMPS, MUNCHES]
220
00:11:16,284 --> 00:11:20,201
[RETCHES, COUGHS]
[RETCHES, COUGHS]
221
00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:21,637
MR BENNETT:
Were you invited to the ball
222
00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:22,769
at Cumberland Castle?
223
00:11:22,856 --> 00:11:24,901
It sounds splendid.
We were not.
224
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:28,600
Or that interminable dinner
for the new Earl of Gloucester? [GROANS, SCOFFS]
225
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:29,950
Sadly not, no.
226
00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:31,429
Oh...
I'm sure it was a servant's error.
227
00:11:31,516 --> 00:11:32,430
Error, yes.
228
00:11:32,561 --> 00:11:33,736
Mm.
229
00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:35,042
Mm! [SMACKS LIPS]
230
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:38,828
Lord Marlow told me the most
extraordinary tale this morning.
231
00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:40,830
Something called an "eclipse."
232
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:44,268
Apparently, there's rumor
from reliable sources,
233
00:11:44,486 --> 00:11:46,880
evil spirits will pour out
234
00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:48,751
like an open spigot
from the sky.
235
00:11:48,969 --> 00:11:51,798
The Devil's doing
for this wretched king.
236
00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:53,800
Reliable sources, you say?
MRS BENNETT: Oh, it's true.
237
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:55,932
[CUTLERY CLATTERS]
Yes, evil is afoot.
238
00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:57,804
MR BENNETT: Hmm.
First a German monarch.
239
00:11:57,891 --> 00:11:59,283
Then the pox.
MR BENNETT: Pox.
240
00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:01,416
And now there's
a hole in the sky? MR BENNETT: Hmm.
241
00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:04,201
Whatever's next?
[GROUP CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]
242
00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:07,335
However problematic
you find Georgey's ascension,
243
00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:09,337
the bloody Jacobites
are sullying the streets
244
00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:11,295
with violence and mayhem...
[SCOFFS]
245
00:12:11,426 --> 00:12:13,907
...like snobbish children
whose toys have been taken.
246
00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:17,084
[CROWD SHOUTING, CLAMORING]
RIOTER: Long live the king!
247
00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:20,348
I'm sorry, but they're nothing
but seditious imbeciles
248
00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:22,045
masquerading as revolutionaries.
249
00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:23,394
You can't be serious?
250
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,092
I've been accused
of many things, Mr B,
251
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:27,007
but seriousness
isn't one of them.
252
00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:28,530
A Hanover? Here?
253
00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:32,099
It's an affront for any
self-respecting Englishman.
254
00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:33,927
The dismantling of the Tories...
[SIR CHAUNCEY SLURPS]
255
00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:36,538
...the Whigs'
cloak-and-dagger ascent.
256
00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:39,193
It's disgraceful. A vile coup.
257
00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:40,672
This is our land.
[TABLE THUDDING]
258
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:42,805
Yes. Yes. Yes.
MR BENNETT: Our crown. Our birthright.
259
00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:46,026
And I'm not about to let
some filthy German
260
00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:48,942
snatch it away from us.
[GASPS] He's right.
261
00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:50,508
If we're not careful,
262
00:12:50,595 --> 00:12:52,423
we'll be eating schnitzel
for breakfast.
263
00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:53,990
Guten nacht. Guten tag.
264
00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:55,470
Gutenpoppycock.
MRS BENNETT: Indeed.
265
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,211
George Augustus?
[GROANS]
266
00:12:57,298 --> 00:12:59,822
Oh, I don't trust an Augustus.
No, no, no.
267
00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:03,173
But James Edward Stuart...
268
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:05,088
There you are. See?
Now, that's a king's name.
269
00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:07,917
Mm! And this Johann Bach fellow
sounds suspicious too.
270
00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:09,832
Everyone we've spoken to
271
00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:12,008
considers
the ascension illegitimate. Illegitimate.
272
00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:14,097
Seriously, Humphrey,
are you really worried
273
00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:15,490
that some wily Whig
is going to come
274
00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:17,405
and seize your land
while you're on the pot?
275
00:13:17,492 --> 00:13:21,235
Sir, do you mock me?
By no means.
276
00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:24,368
Simply a disagreement
between dearest friends
277
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:27,371
exchanging thoughts and ideas
on politics of the day.
278
00:13:27,632 --> 00:13:28,720
[INHALES] You, sir,
279
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:31,680
have an astute, agile mind
on such matters.
280
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,638
I'm not much
of a political animal.
281
00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:34,988
[SLURPS]
More of a peacock.
282
00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:37,251
LADY SAVAGE: Mm!
Who wants cake?
283
00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:40,254
Only two servants.
It's barbaric.
284
00:13:40,341 --> 00:13:42,647
And did you see,
they've sold their Van Goyen?
285
00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:44,084
It's gambling debts, obviously.
286
00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:47,304
[GROANS]MRS BENNETT: Oh, Humphrey.
287
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:49,176
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Oh, shit!
288
00:13:54,007 --> 00:13:56,487
I've never seen
so much shit in my life!
289
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:00,796
[PANTING] From the Duke
and Duchess of Devonshire.
290
00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:01,797
Urgent.
291
00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:05,627
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
292
00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:08,978
Er. Sir!
293
00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:10,458
LADY SAVAGE: I saw
that telescope you got her.
294
00:14:10,588 --> 00:14:11,589
How much did that cost?
295
00:14:11,676 --> 00:14:12,808
I don't know
what you're talking about?
296
00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:13,809
Sir!
297
00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:19,119
"D."
298
00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:22,905
[DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES]
[ENVELOPE RIPPING]
299
00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:24,559
It's a request...
300
00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:27,083
from the Duke and Duchess
of Devonshire.
301
00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:29,869
They're to begin
their yearly Yorkshire tour,
302
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:32,567
and one of their hosts,
Lord Vernon,
303
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:37,746
has apparently succumbed
to a grisly bout of the pox.
304
00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:43,970
[BREATHES SHAKILY] And...
What? What? What? What is it?
305
00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:49,627
They need a place to dine
and sleep in ten days' time,
306
00:14:49,714 --> 00:14:53,022
and are curious if we can...
307
00:14:53,631 --> 00:14:54,937
[HESITATES] ...accommodate.
308
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,071
No.
[SIR CHAUNCEY GASPS]
309
00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:01,117
LADY SAVAGE: No.
Yes!
310
00:15:04,642 --> 00:15:06,601
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[GASPS]
311
00:15:06,688 --> 00:15:08,342
Shit, shit, shit, shit!
Shit, shit, shit!
312
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:10,431
SIR CHAUNCEY: Please, please.
Please, please, please? LADY SAVAGE: No! No!
313
00:15:11,171 --> 00:15:13,651
I'm sorry, no, we can't. No.
Please.
314
00:15:13,738 --> 00:15:15,262
Is this a prank?
A spiteful jest?
315
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:17,351
I assure you, it's quite real.
316
00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:20,397
Look at the penmanship.
It's remarkable!
317
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,225
Do you think
he wrote it himself?
318
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:23,661
We have neither the means
319
00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:25,663
nor the staff to accommodate
such a noble request.
320
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,709
I'm sorry,
but I will not be humiliated.
321
00:15:27,796 --> 00:15:29,885
Wouldn't rejecting
such a request
322
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:32,192
be equally humiliating,
if not more?
323
00:15:32,322 --> 00:15:33,541
Er. We could lie.
324
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:35,195
We could respond
with lurid accounts
325
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:38,024
of sickness ourselves.
My darling, my love, please.
326
00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:40,722
Can't you see the opportunity?
327
00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:44,160
A Yorkshire tour
during an outbreak and uprising.
328
00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:47,381
We are the beneficiaries
of miraculous circumstance!
329
00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:49,209
Chauncey, please.
330
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,298
In candor, we were probably
fifth or sixth on the list,
331
00:15:51,385 --> 00:15:52,473
but that's neither
here nor there.
332
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:56,303
Don't you see? We were chosen.
333
00:15:57,652 --> 00:16:00,220
This is our chance
to restore your family name.
334
00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:01,917
To put us back on top.
335
00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:04,485
To rewrite history
without anyone being the wiser,
336
00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:07,053
save for a few nosy neighbors
and debt collectors.
337
00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:08,271
[UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING]
338
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:10,273
You are the company you keep.
339
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:11,318
[GASPS]
340
00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:13,842
Ah, imagine our lives
after such a revered dinner.
341
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,932
The invitations
to balls and galas
342
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:19,543
in various royal courts.
343
00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:21,241
Wah! [EXCLAIMS]
[SQUEALS, EXCLAIMS]
344
00:16:21,371 --> 00:16:23,460
Filled with dueling wits
and platters of pineapple.
345
00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:25,506
[GROWLS, IN FRENCH ACCENT]
And maybe, maybe... [LADY SAVAGE GASPS]
346
00:16:25,593 --> 00:16:29,771
...an 'oliday in old Paris
with the Duke and Duchess. [GASPS]
347
00:16:29,945 --> 00:16:34,994
Oh, My Lady Savage, you look
particularly ravishing ce soir!
348
00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:38,171
Why, thank you, Your Grace.
[GASPS] This is madness.
349
00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:40,347
I know. But isn't it fun?
350
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:41,696
[SNICKERS]
[LADY SAVAGE SQUEALS]
351
00:16:41,826 --> 00:16:43,002
[SWORDS CLANGING]
352
00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:45,047
REGINALD: Your birth was brutal
and without distinction.
353
00:16:45,134 --> 00:16:46,875
You've had to claw
and scratch your way every inch
354
00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:48,355
to pull yourself
out of the muck.
355
00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:49,965
And look where you are now.
356
00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:51,619
Lord of the bloody manor!
357
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:54,100
A duke and duchess
to dine at my table.
358
00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:56,493
You're an inspiration
to low-born ruffians everywhere.
359
00:16:56,624 --> 00:16:58,539
[PANTING] After we befriend
the Duke, our vexed collectors
360
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,584
will be forced
to forgive their loans.
361
00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:02,064
Or ask for interest.
362
00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:05,111
Oh! Ah! [GROANS]
You little shit!
363
00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:06,590
Fuck!
[CHUCKLING] Sorry, sir. It was an accident.
364
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:08,375
SIR CHAUNCEY:
I'll show you an accident! Oh, fuck!
365
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:10,464
[REGINALD MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY]
SIR CHAUNCEY: Come here, you fuck!
366
00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:12,640
FANNY: Seems like a rather
large waste of money, no?
367
00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:14,511
[FIREWOOD CRACKLING]
You worry too much.
368
00:17:14,903 --> 00:17:16,992
You'll give yourself
irritable bowels.
369
00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:18,907
Look, nothing's set
in stone, my love.
370
00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:20,952
But if we do accept,
371
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:23,564
think of it as an investment
in our future.
372
00:17:24,173 --> 00:17:25,740
I imagine, one day,
you're going to marry well
373
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:27,046
and save us all from ruin.
374
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,525
You speak of me
as if I were property
375
00:17:28,612 --> 00:17:30,136
to be sold
to the highest bidder.
376
00:17:30,223 --> 00:17:31,876
Tragic as it might seem,
you are.
377
00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:34,531
Fertile land
to be nurtured, gardened,
378
00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:37,099
and, on occasion,
drunkenly ploughed in the night
379
00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:38,361
without adequate satisfaction.
380
00:17:38,448 --> 00:17:40,146
But, Mama,
you married Papa for love.
381
00:17:40,233 --> 00:17:41,886
He was nothing more
than a charming rogue.
382
00:17:41,973 --> 00:17:44,324
Yes, and look where
that foolishness has left us.
383
00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:48,545
Oh, you're a fantasist, my love.
Just like your father.
384
00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:52,288
Lost in the stars.
Now, get some rest.
385
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,943
[MICE SQUEAKING]
386
00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:56,423
Say goodnight to the mice.
387
00:17:56,727 --> 00:17:59,121
No. I'll do no such thing.
Please.
388
00:17:59,904 --> 00:18:01,863
[BREATHES SHARPLY]
389
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:04,953
You're a disturbed child,
but I love you.
390
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:09,871
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
391
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:16,747
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
392
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,404
[SNICKERS]
393
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:28,107
[EXHALES, SNIFFS]
[DOOR OPENING]
394
00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:31,719
SIR CHAUNCEY: Miss Neville!
395
00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:34,113
How curious
to see you in the cellar.
396
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,072
Oh, I--
I must be lost, me laird.
397
00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:38,334
If you're not too busy,
398
00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:41,250
perhaps you could help me
butter my biscuit
399
00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:44,645
with a little clotted cream
and gooseberry jam?
400
00:18:44,732 --> 00:18:46,342
Why, of course, me laird.
401
00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:53,306
[SIR CHAUNCEY MOANS]
[CHUCKLES]
402
00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:55,090
SIR CHAUNCEY:
Dirty little piggy.
403
00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:58,615
[BLOWS AIR]
[SIR CHAUNCEY BLOWS RASPBERRIES]
404
00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:01,444
LADY SAVAGE You're a gifted
swordsman, Mr Halifax.
405
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,447
It's all in the wrist,
My Ladyship.
406
00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:07,842
For what it's worth...
407
00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:11,802
I implore you to accept
the Duke's request
408
00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:13,978
and to reply with haste.
409
00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:18,374
This is your chance
to rebuild Savage House
410
00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:21,116
and finally return your name
to its rightful place.
411
00:19:21,769 --> 00:19:23,901
You deserve to shine, my love.
412
00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:28,079
To be the golden beacon
you were born to be,
413
00:19:28,819 --> 00:19:30,081
before the men in your life
414
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,823
sullied and squandered
your good fortune.
415
00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:36,697
Hold me.
416
00:19:38,699 --> 00:19:40,048
Don't touch me!
417
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:45,967
[INHALES] I think I love you.
418
00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:50,493
[GASPS]
419
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:54,236
[BOTH SMOOCH]
[JOYFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
420
00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:57,152
NARRATOR: In the sweet-smelling
sheets of her young lover,
421
00:19:57,370 --> 00:19:59,285
Lady Savage finally agreed
422
00:19:59,372 --> 00:20:01,548
to host the Duke and Duchess
for dinner,
423
00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:04,507
a responsibility
she did not take lightly.
424
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,642
And so,
our march of folly begins.
425
00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:10,252
[LADY SAVAGE LAUGHING]
426
00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:14,125
["THE FOUR SEASONS, AUTUMN"
BY VIVALDI PLAYING]
427
00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:18,956
Knowing my husband
is prone to indulgence,
428
00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:21,132
I have taken it upon myself
to guide the process
429
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,265
of restoring our home
to its former glory
430
00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:24,614
in ten days' time,
431
00:20:24,832 --> 00:20:27,051
and I've made a detailed list
of all expected duties
432
00:20:27,138 --> 00:20:29,358
to eradicate any confusion
or negligence.
433
00:20:29,576 --> 00:20:33,014
Mr Halifax, you are to handle
all manual labor,
434
00:20:33,101 --> 00:20:36,191
including, but not exclusive to,
gardening, carpentry... [SLURPS, BELCHES]
435
00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:37,888
...and general restoration.
436
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:41,065
Miss Neville, in addition
to your usual cleaning duties,
437
00:20:41,152 --> 00:20:43,459
you are to work with Mr Walcot
in conceiving and procuring
438
00:20:43,546 --> 00:20:45,244
the necessary items
for our menu,
439
00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:46,854
as well as notifying
the finest tradesmen
440
00:20:46,941 --> 00:20:47,855
in their various fields.
441
00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:51,467
Art dealer, jewel merchant,
dressmaker, et al.
442
00:20:51,554 --> 00:20:52,555
[BREATHES SHARPLY]
443
00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:54,905
This is a duke's dinner,
ladies and gentlemen.
444
00:20:54,992 --> 00:20:56,211
It's a great honor.
445
00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:58,169
No expense shall be spared.
446
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:00,781
[BREATHES SHARPLY]
Now, the clock is ticking. So...
447
00:21:01,825 --> 00:21:04,001
Chop chop! [CHUCKLES]
448
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:06,830
I've been thinking
about dinner guests.
449
00:21:06,917 --> 00:21:09,616
We should invite
Lord Cumberland and Earl...
450
00:21:10,094 --> 00:21:11,966
so-and-so.
And add a little culture.
451
00:21:12,401 --> 00:21:14,969
Perhaps that witty Dubliner,
Dean Swift?
452
00:21:15,056 --> 00:21:16,666
At short notice
and during an outbreak,
453
00:21:16,753 --> 00:21:17,798
it'll be tough.
454
00:21:17,885 --> 00:21:21,062
But we can try.
[BELCHES] What?
455
00:21:21,845 --> 00:21:23,020
It's not my fault.
456
00:21:23,107 --> 00:21:25,153
I'm a nervous eater,
you know that. [MUNCHES]
457
00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:26,459
SIR CHAUNCEY:
Up, up, up, up, up!
458
00:21:26,589 --> 00:21:28,635
Sir! Please! Please!
[LAUGHS]
459
00:21:28,722 --> 00:21:30,941
Climbing the social ladder
can be perilous,
460
00:21:31,028 --> 00:21:33,422
if you're not careful.
[EXCLAIMS] Sir!
461
00:21:34,162 --> 00:21:36,033
LADY SAVAGE:
Stop horsing around, darling.
462
00:21:36,469 --> 00:21:39,385
No need to cry about it. Wuss.
[GRUNTS]
463
00:21:39,689 --> 00:21:43,040
[GRUNTS, SIGHS]
464
00:21:43,911 --> 00:21:46,261
Perhaps after you've finished,
Miss Neville,
465
00:21:46,348 --> 00:21:48,132
you can unearth
my mother's china
466
00:21:48,219 --> 00:21:50,526
from whatever dusty cabinet
you've hidden it in.
467
00:21:50,613 --> 00:21:52,876
Can't seem to find it anywhere.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
468
00:21:54,095 --> 00:21:55,531
[PANTING] Yes, ma'am.
469
00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:57,925
[SIGHS]
470
00:21:58,229 --> 00:22:01,320
[HAMMER THUDDING]
Oh, yes, yes, just like that.
471
00:22:01,407 --> 00:22:02,277
[SNORTS] I'd help,
472
00:22:02,538 --> 00:22:04,148
but I'm utterly useless
with a hammer.
473
00:22:04,235 --> 00:22:06,325
[CHUCKLES] There's so much
that needs to be done.
474
00:22:06,412 --> 00:22:10,111
The pressure's unimaginable! Mm.
[BREATHES DEEPLY, SIGHS]
475
00:22:10,198 --> 00:22:12,287
SIR CHAUNCEY: I don't know
what I'd do without you.
476
00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:13,941
[GROANS, BELCHES]
477
00:22:15,464 --> 00:22:17,292
[HAMMER THUDDING]
478
00:22:17,553 --> 00:22:19,990
I was thinking of possibly
selling off another parcel
479
00:22:20,077 --> 00:22:22,471
to bankroll the necessary
additions for the dinner.
480
00:22:22,776 --> 00:22:26,693
You've already sold or loaned
against every parcel, sir.
481
00:22:26,780 --> 00:22:29,043
Some twice. Need I remind you
of our Mr Black?
482
00:22:29,130 --> 00:22:30,784
Oh. Yes, yes, of course.
483
00:22:31,045 --> 00:22:33,874
Parcel 11. I--
I was merely musing.
484
00:22:34,048 --> 00:22:36,659
No self-respecting gentleman
knows his bank balance.
485
00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:37,921
Well, if you're
not careful, sir,
486
00:22:38,052 --> 00:22:40,620
we'll end up in Fleet,
or worse, Bedlam.
487
00:22:40,750 --> 00:22:43,666
Never mind the particulars.
We'll think of something.
488
00:22:43,927 --> 00:22:45,407
[HAMMER THUDDING]
489
00:22:45,494 --> 00:22:47,366
MR BRIMSBY:
What a fine collection,
490
00:22:47,453 --> 00:22:48,541
Your Ladyship.
491
00:22:48,628 --> 00:22:50,369
Your family's impeccable taste
is well known
492
00:22:50,456 --> 00:22:52,458
and without exception.
493
00:22:52,545 --> 00:22:56,810
This item, in particular,
is of great interest.
494
00:22:56,897 --> 00:22:58,507
No, I'm afraid
I can't, Mr Brimsby.
495
00:22:58,594 --> 00:22:59,856
My Aunt Elsa gave me that.
496
00:22:59,943 --> 00:23:02,903
But, darling, you never wear it.
[SIGHS]
497
00:23:03,294 --> 00:23:05,645
[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
498
00:23:05,775 --> 00:23:08,517
Only the pearls and the garnets.
I won't sell my jewels.
499
00:23:09,170 --> 00:23:10,824
NARRATOR:
And so, Lady Savage... [SIGHS]
500
00:23:10,911 --> 00:23:13,043
...sadly sold
her mother's pearls,
501
00:23:13,217 --> 00:23:14,654
her aunt's earrings,
502
00:23:14,741 --> 00:23:18,222
and a slew of Venetian trinkets
to Mr Brimsby
503
00:23:18,309 --> 00:23:20,486
for a rather large pouch
of coin.
504
00:23:20,834 --> 00:23:22,009
There was a great deal left
505
00:23:22,096 --> 00:23:23,880
to acquire
for the Duke's dinner,
506
00:23:24,185 --> 00:23:26,796
and now, they had
the requisite means.
507
00:23:27,014 --> 00:23:28,363
[THRILLING
CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
508
00:23:28,537 --> 00:23:29,930
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
NARRATOR: First and foremost,
509
00:23:30,060 --> 00:23:32,759
with three notable paintings
missing in the parlor room,
510
00:23:32,933 --> 00:23:35,805
Chauncey decided it was prudent
to purchase lesser works
511
00:23:35,892 --> 00:23:38,025
of equal size to replace them.
512
00:23:38,678 --> 00:23:42,159
The large empty squares marked
by dust and sun damage
513
00:23:42,246 --> 00:23:45,032
were a garish sight
to any learned eye,
514
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:46,990
particularly,
a duke and duchess.
515
00:23:47,077 --> 00:23:49,340
This comes from Giacomo Adolfi,
516
00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:53,736
an incredible talent
and a disciple of Caravaggio.
517
00:23:53,997 --> 00:23:55,521
His work isn't as known,
518
00:23:55,651 --> 00:23:57,174
but he is held
in the highest regard
519
00:23:57,261 --> 00:23:58,959
in the essential circles.
SIR CHAUNCEY: Hmm.
520
00:23:59,046 --> 00:24:01,570
I-- I sold one last month
to the Earl of Leicester.
521
00:24:01,657 --> 00:24:03,180
All very hush-hush, of course.
522
00:24:03,267 --> 00:24:05,531
Of course. Er...
523
00:24:05,618 --> 00:24:07,446
Yes, I see now.
524
00:24:07,576 --> 00:24:10,318
Quite magnificent. Brilliant.
525
00:24:10,405 --> 00:24:13,452
Er, what may I ask is the price?
526
00:24:13,539 --> 00:24:15,671
You have impeccable taste,
Sir Chauncey.
527
00:24:15,758 --> 00:24:19,066
I'm sure we can come to a fair
and equitable understanding.
528
00:24:19,196 --> 00:24:20,459
NARRATOR: Of course,
529
00:24:20,546 --> 00:24:22,809
not understanding
the finer things,
530
00:24:22,939 --> 00:24:26,726
Chauncey painfully overpaid
the nobleman, Lord Wilbury.
531
00:24:29,729 --> 00:24:31,818
MR BOYLE: These are Jacobean
with a rattan back.
532
00:24:31,905 --> 00:24:34,211
Er. These are Queen Anne
with a cabriole leg.
533
00:24:34,298 --> 00:24:35,517
This is the latest fashion.
534
00:24:35,691 --> 00:24:37,998
It's Italian silk damask
with a ball-and-claw foot.
535
00:24:38,085 --> 00:24:40,653
Er. This fabric was woven
by blind nuns in Holland.
536
00:24:40,740 --> 00:24:42,263
They're lovely.
They have tiny fingers.
537
00:24:42,393 --> 00:24:44,352
Now, these feet look like gold.
They aren't, actually.
538
00:24:44,439 --> 00:24:46,876
And these are our chairs.
539
00:24:47,007 --> 00:24:49,705
Yes, Duke.
No, of course, Duke.
540
00:24:49,792 --> 00:24:52,882
Did you hear, Duke?
Yoo-hoo!
541
00:24:53,187 --> 00:24:54,928
[INHALES]
NARRATOR: Chauncey and Lady Savage
542
00:24:55,015 --> 00:24:56,669
had agreed not to tell anyone
543
00:24:56,756 --> 00:24:58,540
of their illustrious
dinner guests,
544
00:24:58,888 --> 00:25:00,977
but quickly abandoned
such secrecy
545
00:25:01,064 --> 00:25:02,457
and proceeded to inform everyone
546
00:25:02,544 --> 00:25:04,981
that passed through their home
or would listen.
547
00:25:05,199 --> 00:25:08,376
Of course, they did so
with great discretion.
548
00:25:08,463 --> 00:25:11,031
And pigs can fly!
Oh, no, it's true.
549
00:25:11,945 --> 00:25:13,642
Then you must have these.
550
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,036
For a duke and duchess,
551
00:25:16,123 --> 00:25:19,300
the curtains must always
match the sheets.
552
00:25:19,822 --> 00:25:22,521
Duchess, your chariot awaits!
[SQUEALS, CHUCKLES] Get up.
553
00:25:22,608 --> 00:25:25,480
[SHRIEKS, LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS, WHISTLES]
554
00:25:28,570 --> 00:25:32,531
[THRILLING
CLASSICAL MUSIC CONTINUES]
555
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,322
[MUNCHES]
556
00:25:44,891 --> 00:25:46,762
What's the occasion,
Your Ladyship?
557
00:25:47,415 --> 00:25:48,547
Don't tell a soul,
558
00:25:48,634 --> 00:25:50,418
but the Duke
and Duchess of Devonshire
559
00:25:50,505 --> 00:25:52,594
are coming for dinner.
Oh!
560
00:25:52,681 --> 00:25:53,856
[INHALES DEEPLY]
561
00:25:53,943 --> 00:25:55,292
You must have this then.
562
00:25:55,728 --> 00:25:57,730
Lady Lennox wore it
to the Cumberland Ball.
563
00:25:57,817 --> 00:25:59,775
Everyone at the Royal Court
is wearing it.[SLURPS]
564
00:25:59,906 --> 00:26:03,823
Oh, it's stunning! [GASPS]
You're too modest.
565
00:26:03,910 --> 00:26:06,173
Oh!
With a figure like yours, Your Ladyship,
566
00:26:06,260 --> 00:26:07,653
it'll be perfection.
567
00:26:07,740 --> 00:26:10,307
I'll tuck it here,
here, and here.
568
00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:12,701
[GASPS]
Just you see.
569
00:26:12,832 --> 00:26:14,703
Do I have to wear this?
570
00:26:15,922 --> 00:26:17,010
Yes, you do.
571
00:26:17,532 --> 00:26:18,881
Darling...
572
00:26:18,968 --> 00:26:21,536
you're like a beautifully
wrapped candy
573
00:26:21,667 --> 00:26:24,844
that, once bitten,
is laced with lye and hemlock.
574
00:26:24,931 --> 00:26:27,629
And you, dearest husband,
are like a provenance rose. [SLURPS, SWALLOWS]
575
00:26:27,716 --> 00:26:29,457
A charming
and colorful creature
576
00:26:29,544 --> 00:26:31,677
that, on closer inspection,
is actually quite thorny
577
00:26:31,764 --> 00:26:33,940
and grown in manure.
[CHUCKLES, GROWLS]
578
00:26:34,027 --> 00:26:35,419
[BREATHES SHARPLY]
[INHALES]
579
00:26:35,594 --> 00:26:37,770
Sir...
I know, I know.
580
00:26:37,857 --> 00:26:40,555
I'll pay the rest next month.
I promise.
581
00:26:40,642 --> 00:26:41,774
Sir...
Ah!
582
00:26:42,165 --> 00:26:45,734
A duke's dinner could be
invaluable for business.
583
00:26:45,821 --> 00:26:49,303
Especially during
such a wretched outbreak. Hmm?
584
00:26:51,131 --> 00:26:52,523
They'll be ready
before the dinner.
585
00:26:52,611 --> 00:26:54,525
[GASPS, KISSES]
586
00:26:54,743 --> 00:26:57,877
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
587
00:26:57,964 --> 00:26:59,792
Darling.
NARRATOR: With mischievous glee,
588
00:26:59,879 --> 00:27:02,577
the two continued
to dig themselves into debt.
589
00:27:02,664 --> 00:27:04,710
Hmm!
NARRATOR: For ambition,
590
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:08,801
like any sweet elixir,
can be a blinding thing.
591
00:27:12,587 --> 00:27:14,589
They even commissioned
a family portrait
592
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,635
to color them
in a more lavish light
593
00:27:16,722 --> 00:27:18,680
than their circumstance
suggested.
594
00:27:18,767 --> 00:27:20,943
For perception is everything,
595
00:27:21,074 --> 00:27:23,685
especially among
the ruling class.
596
00:27:23,772 --> 00:27:25,992
Why are you holding
a pheasant, Papa?
597
00:27:26,775 --> 00:27:28,168
You don't hunt.
598
00:27:28,777 --> 00:27:30,605
Nobody wants to see reality,
my love.
599
00:27:30,692 --> 00:27:32,563
They only want the fantasy.
HANS: Don't move.
600
00:27:33,129 --> 00:27:34,522
I know you think
you are not moving,
601
00:27:35,044 --> 00:27:36,089
but you are.
602
00:27:37,481 --> 00:27:39,179
[IN GERMAN] Fucking peasants.
603
00:27:39,353 --> 00:27:40,659
[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
[SNIFFS]
604
00:27:40,746 --> 00:27:42,138
LADY SAVAGE: [IN ENGLISH]
Pardon the costumes. Hmm!
605
00:27:42,225 --> 00:27:43,836
LADY SAVAGE: I know
this may sound rather peculiar,
606
00:27:43,923 --> 00:27:46,099
but you are to impersonate
the Duke and Duchess
607
00:27:46,186 --> 00:27:47,187
so we may rehearse
the fashionable
608
00:27:47,274 --> 00:27:48,318
dance of the day,
609
00:27:48,667 --> 00:27:50,320
whilst dearest Fanny
can practice her harpsichord.
610
00:27:50,407 --> 00:27:51,757
If anyone should be playing
the Duke and Duchess
611
00:27:51,844 --> 00:27:53,019
in this game, it should be us.
612
00:27:53,454 --> 00:27:55,064
Then they'd be you and I, dear.
That's not particularly helpful.
613
00:27:55,151 --> 00:27:57,588
What about the eclipse?
[SIGHS] What about it?
614
00:27:57,676 --> 00:28:00,113
Some fear it's going to create
a black mirror in the sky
615
00:28:00,243 --> 00:28:01,592
for dark spirits
to funnel through.
616
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,551
If you don't start playing,
I'll show you a dark spirit
617
00:28:03,638 --> 00:28:05,031
in the form of a birch paddle,
618
00:28:05,118 --> 00:28:06,467
or perhaps
those wretched mice of yours
619
00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:08,904
would like a little arsenic
with their breakfast. [GASPS]
620
00:28:08,991 --> 00:28:10,514
Or perhaps I should shave them
621
00:28:10,601 --> 00:28:12,299
and make myself
a fashionable pair of eyebrows.
622
00:28:12,516 --> 00:28:14,562
You wouldn't!
I most certainly would.
623
00:28:14,649 --> 00:28:16,564
Now, this is the Duke
and Duchess.
624
00:28:16,651 --> 00:28:17,826
We must be at our very best.
625
00:28:18,653 --> 00:28:19,915
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
626
00:28:20,350 --> 00:28:22,613
Duke, may I have this dance?
627
00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:23,963
Of course, Your Ladyship.
628
00:28:24,050 --> 00:28:26,922
If I may say,
you are a vision this evening.
629
00:28:27,009 --> 00:28:29,664
You may not, Mr Halifax.
Why, thank you, Your Grace.
630
00:28:30,970 --> 00:28:31,927
Duchess.
631
00:28:33,146 --> 00:28:36,192
Fanny!
[MELODIC HARPSICHORD PLAYING]
632
00:28:36,323 --> 00:28:39,500
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
633
00:28:40,022 --> 00:28:42,416
[PANTS]
634
00:28:49,553 --> 00:28:51,033
How's it going
with Her Ladyship?
635
00:28:51,251 --> 00:28:54,080
We're nearly there, my love.
We are nearly there, I promise.
636
00:28:54,471 --> 00:28:57,039
[INHALES] And the moment,
I'm sure of her affections,
637
00:28:57,213 --> 00:28:59,215
Chauncey will be plagued
by tragedy.
638
00:28:59,433 --> 00:29:02,088
Perhaps the poisoning
of a teacake or wine.
639
00:29:02,218 --> 00:29:05,265
[SIR CHAUNCEY SNORING]
640
00:29:07,658 --> 00:29:09,399
REGINALD: Or a hunting accident
while fowling.
641
00:29:09,530 --> 00:29:11,097
[BIRD CHITTERING]
642
00:29:11,227 --> 00:29:12,359
[SIR CHAUNCEY GROANS]
643
00:29:12,707 --> 00:29:15,101
DOROTHY: Or drunkenly tumbling
from his window sill.
644
00:29:15,841 --> 00:29:17,364
I will ascend
to lord of the manor
645
00:29:17,451 --> 00:29:20,454
and shower you with the riches
you so richly deserve.
646
00:29:20,584 --> 00:29:23,022
Hmm.
[REGINALD BREATHES SHARPLY]
647
00:29:23,196 --> 00:29:24,980
[DOROTHY MOANS]
[BOTH SMOOCH]
648
00:29:25,067 --> 00:29:29,768
[PANTING] He's a sad old man,
and uncharitable lover, but...
649
00:29:30,029 --> 00:29:31,944
he's not without his charms.
Hmm.
650
00:29:32,161 --> 00:29:33,728
While we're in
the murderous spirit,
651
00:29:33,946 --> 00:29:36,296
why not kill off
Her Ladyship as well?
652
00:29:36,383 --> 00:29:38,472
A drowning at daybreak,
653
00:29:38,951 --> 00:29:41,170
or an errant slip
on a soapy floor.
654
00:29:41,257 --> 00:29:42,432
[LADY SAVAGE SCREAMS]
[LOUD THUD]
655
00:29:42,563 --> 00:29:43,956
No, that's too suspicious.
656
00:29:44,043 --> 00:29:46,393
Them both dying of unnatural
and curious causes.
657
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:47,873
Not to mention little Fanny.
658
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:50,397
Who cares about that
sniveling little snob?
659
00:29:50,701 --> 00:29:52,486
Those mice of hers
eat better than I do.
660
00:29:52,660 --> 00:29:55,141
We have to think
of the long game here.
661
00:29:55,228 --> 00:29:58,884
After the dinner,
after the dust settles,
662
00:29:59,275 --> 00:30:00,494
we'll make our move.
663
00:30:02,235 --> 00:30:03,323
[DOROTHY CHUCKLES]
664
00:30:03,410 --> 00:30:05,064
Hmm, hmm.
[CHUCKLES]
665
00:30:08,807 --> 00:30:11,810
[HAMMER THUDDING]
[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
666
00:30:11,940 --> 00:30:16,945
[CROWS CAWING]
[ANIMALS CHITTERING]
667
00:30:23,386 --> 00:30:24,779
[INHALES DEEPLY]
668
00:30:26,389 --> 00:30:28,087
Good day, sir!
669
00:30:30,872 --> 00:30:32,569
How may I help you?
670
00:30:34,223 --> 00:30:37,574
REGINALD: Er. Higher, ma'am?
[DOROTHY YELPS, GIGGLES]
671
00:30:37,748 --> 00:30:40,534
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[CLOCK TICKING]
672
00:30:40,795 --> 00:30:42,449
[DOROTHY GRUNTS]
[SIR CHAUNCEY GROANS]
673
00:30:43,102 --> 00:30:44,059
REGINALD: Ma'am?
674
00:30:46,105 --> 00:30:46,975
Ma'am?
675
00:30:49,195 --> 00:30:51,588
Lower. And a little to the left.
676
00:30:52,676 --> 00:30:54,722
[GROANS, BREATHES HEAVILY]
677
00:30:56,202 --> 00:30:57,246
[EXCLAIMS]
678
00:30:58,987 --> 00:31:01,337
[GROANS, HISSES, GRUNTS]
679
00:31:02,121 --> 00:31:03,644
Oh!
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
680
00:31:03,731 --> 00:31:05,124
Who the hell?
681
00:31:05,211 --> 00:31:09,606
[MUFFLED CHATTER]
Don't argue, just...
682
00:31:10,694 --> 00:31:12,914
Mr and Mrs Bennett.
To what do we owe the honor?
683
00:31:13,175 --> 00:31:15,874
We were just taking
our morning stroll
684
00:31:15,961 --> 00:31:20,139
and thought we'd stop by.
Are the Savages in, by chance?
685
00:31:22,315 --> 00:31:23,359
Of course.
686
00:31:23,620 --> 00:31:27,668
[LEATHER SQUEAKS]
[SIR CHAUNCEY GROANS SOFTLY]
687
00:31:33,282 --> 00:31:36,068
We don't mean to impose,
but we--
688
00:31:36,198 --> 00:31:38,940
You most certainly do.
Beg your pardon?
689
00:31:39,071 --> 00:31:40,681
Whenever someone
begins a sentence with,
690
00:31:40,768 --> 00:31:41,812
"We don't mean to impose,"
691
00:31:42,248 --> 00:31:44,337
followed by the word "but,"
they most certainly mean it.
692
00:31:44,424 --> 00:31:47,122
Don't apologize, Mr Bennett.
Simply continue your imposition. [SLURPS]
693
00:31:47,209 --> 00:31:49,429
We're all friends here.
[CHUCKLES] No, no, no, no, no!
694
00:31:49,516 --> 00:31:51,387
No, really--
It's not like that at all. Well, we were just--
695
00:31:51,474 --> 00:31:53,346
[HESITATES] ...strolling.
[HESITATES] ...strolling.
696
00:31:53,433 --> 00:31:57,219
Well, you see, we really
don't mean to impose, but, er...
697
00:31:57,524 --> 00:32:01,180
we did hear that the Duke
and Duchess of Devonshire
698
00:32:01,267 --> 00:32:02,485
were coming for dinner.
699
00:32:02,572 --> 00:32:03,617
It's true.
MR BENNETT: Oh!
700
00:32:04,183 --> 00:32:05,880
How magnificent!
SIR CHAUNCEY: Truly.
701
00:32:05,967 --> 00:32:07,490
[CHUCKLES]
It's all the gossip!
702
00:32:07,621 --> 00:32:09,884
Er, we heard
Lord Vernon's illness
703
00:32:10,015 --> 00:32:11,930
had taken a terrible turn
for the worse.
704
00:32:12,017 --> 00:32:13,932
One man's tragedy
is another's treasure.
705
00:32:14,019 --> 00:32:15,237
Indeed.
Mm.
706
00:32:15,498 --> 00:32:18,066
[SIR CHAUNCEY SLURPS]
Is that a Caravaggio?
707
00:32:18,197 --> 00:32:20,764
A gentleman never boasts.
Mm-hmm. [CHUCKLES]
708
00:32:20,851 --> 00:32:24,116
[SIR CHAUNCEY SLURPS]
You two look simply glowing.
709
00:32:24,246 --> 00:32:27,423
That dress. Your hair.
[CHUCKLES] Er.
710
00:32:27,510 --> 00:32:29,817
Er. Your complexion.
I mean, it's...
711
00:32:30,383 --> 00:32:31,906
[GASPS] It is remarkable.
712
00:32:31,993 --> 00:32:34,387
MR BENNETT: Er. Mm-hmm. Hmm.
Oh, you're too kind.
713
00:32:34,474 --> 00:32:35,605
[MUNCHES]
714
00:32:35,692 --> 00:32:37,216
[SIR CHAUNCEY SWALLOWS]
715
00:32:37,564 --> 00:32:40,784
Would it be too much
to enquire our standing?
716
00:32:41,307 --> 00:32:45,528
[HESITATES] To that,
I mean our invitation.
717
00:32:46,703 --> 00:32:49,010
[MUNCHES]
[CLICKS TONGUE] Oh!
718
00:32:49,532 --> 00:32:50,577
MRS BENNETT: Mm.
719
00:32:51,143 --> 00:32:52,796
Dearest friends.
720
00:32:53,188 --> 00:32:55,974
I'm afraid that every seat
is spoken for.
721
00:32:56,061 --> 00:32:57,062
Hmm. [SLURPS]
722
00:32:57,453 --> 00:32:59,978
But rest assured,
that if anyone should drop out,
723
00:33:00,065 --> 00:33:02,937
you are firmly in consideration.
[MUNCHES]
724
00:33:03,024 --> 00:33:04,852
Of course. Of course.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
725
00:33:04,939 --> 00:33:07,898
Yes. Yes. [STAMMERS]
We wouldn't want to impose. Want to impose.
726
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:11,554
It's no imposition at all.
[CLEARS THROAT, COUGHS]
727
00:33:11,685 --> 00:33:14,340
[STOPWATCH TICKING]
SIR CHAUNCEY: Gosh, look at the time.
728
00:33:14,557 --> 00:33:17,908
If you'll excuse us,
we have a great deal to prepare.
729
00:33:18,779 --> 00:33:21,912
[GROANS] We're very busy.
730
00:33:22,130 --> 00:33:24,872
If anything should change,
don't forget...
731
00:33:25,220 --> 00:33:27,440
[GROANS]
Oh, are you all right, my love?
732
00:33:27,527 --> 00:33:29,050
It's fine, it's nothing.
It's nothing.
733
00:33:29,137 --> 00:33:30,704
No, let me get a doctor
to take a look.
734
00:33:30,791 --> 00:33:31,966
SIR CHAUNCEY:
Oh, don't be so dramatic.
735
00:33:32,184 --> 00:33:34,273
I've more than enough wine
to quell the pain. [GROANS]
736
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:35,317
Oh!
737
00:33:35,578 --> 00:33:37,798
Now, show me
the bloody flower options again!
738
00:33:37,885 --> 00:33:39,669
Don't you raise your voice
with me.
739
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:41,323
You're acting
like a petulant child.
740
00:33:41,410 --> 00:33:43,456
I'm sorry, darling. [INHALES]
741
00:33:43,543 --> 00:33:45,284
I'd simply like to see
the flower options again,
742
00:33:45,371 --> 00:33:47,416
if that's not too much to ask.
You wouldn't know the difference
743
00:33:47,503 --> 00:33:48,939
between peonies
and bloody daffodils,
744
00:33:49,027 --> 00:33:52,247
but very well.
I have a keen eye
745
00:33:52,378 --> 00:33:55,337
and a sharp nose... [SNIFFS]
...I'll have you know.
746
00:33:55,424 --> 00:33:57,818
Don't forget a limp leg.
You're relentless.
747
00:33:57,948 --> 00:33:59,559
Thank you.
Are you quite finished?
748
00:33:59,689 --> 00:34:00,647
Good.
749
00:34:01,213 --> 00:34:02,562
Because we need two more footmen
for tomorrow's rehearsal.
750
00:34:02,649 --> 00:34:03,911
One for either side
of the table.
751
00:34:04,085 --> 00:34:05,260
Where am I supposed to find
two footmen,
752
00:34:05,347 --> 00:34:06,261
in the middle of nowhere?
753
00:34:06,827 --> 00:34:08,350
LADY SAVAGE: I don't care
if you have to dress up a donkey
754
00:34:08,437 --> 00:34:09,569
and a bloody Jacobite!
Just do it.
755
00:34:09,656 --> 00:34:10,874
We've got auditions
this afternoon
756
00:34:10,961 --> 00:34:12,137
and they cannot be rescheduled!
757
00:34:12,224 --> 00:34:13,747
You're relentless!
758
00:34:14,704 --> 00:34:17,664
[GROANS]
Dorothy!
759
00:34:17,794 --> 00:34:21,755
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
760
00:34:22,234 --> 00:34:26,673
What the hell are you doing,
big toe? [PANTS]
761
00:34:26,847 --> 00:34:29,458
[GASPS] Oh, shit!
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
762
00:34:29,632 --> 00:34:31,547
[WHIMPERS, GASPS]
763
00:34:32,287 --> 00:34:33,245
[GROANS]
764
00:34:35,856 --> 00:34:38,076
[FLIES BUZZING]
765
00:34:41,601 --> 00:34:43,951
Hey! Look who's here!
[CHICKENS CLUCKING, SQUAWKING]
766
00:34:44,038 --> 00:34:46,258
SIR CHAUNCEY:
Oh, morning, Beryl. Myfanwy.
767
00:34:46,345 --> 00:34:47,694
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[DONKEY BRAYING]
768
00:34:47,781 --> 00:34:50,392
Gather round!
Gather round, everybody.
769
00:34:50,479 --> 00:34:53,091
Jacob, Jacob.
Well done. Well done.
770
00:34:54,918 --> 00:34:57,747
Got some good news.
All gather round. Don't be shy.
771
00:34:57,834 --> 00:34:58,879
[WHISTLES]
772
00:34:59,706 --> 00:35:02,839
I need two fine men for
an assignment in the main house. [PIGS SNORTING]
773
00:35:02,970 --> 00:35:05,407
You'll be more
than fairly compensated
774
00:35:05,494 --> 00:35:06,626
for your time.
775
00:35:06,974 --> 00:35:09,629
NARRATOR: Chauncey had sympathy
for his workers' plight,
776
00:35:09,759 --> 00:35:11,152
for he was once one of them.
777
00:35:13,372 --> 00:35:15,939
They were an unfortunate
and painful reminder
778
00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:17,550
of his humble beginnings.
779
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:21,293
[PIGS BELCHING, SNORTING]
780
00:35:21,467 --> 00:35:22,685
NARRATOR:
Though he would never admit it,
781
00:35:22,816 --> 00:35:24,165
this was the reason Chauncey
782
00:35:24,296 --> 00:35:27,125
rarely, if ever,
visited the stables.
783
00:35:27,603 --> 00:35:29,866
[HUFFS, SNORTS]
784
00:35:31,259 --> 00:35:34,741
Now, who here
has all their limbs,
785
00:35:34,915 --> 00:35:37,047
including their fingers?
Hands up.
786
00:35:37,874 --> 00:35:38,745
Ah.
787
00:35:39,398 --> 00:35:40,964
You. And you.
788
00:35:41,443 --> 00:35:43,315
Excellent.
You two, come this way.
789
00:35:43,445 --> 00:35:46,492
[EXCITED CHATTER]
790
00:35:46,666 --> 00:35:47,884
NARRATOR:
Chauncey even paid them
791
00:35:47,971 --> 00:35:49,190
a handsome stipend
792
00:35:49,495 --> 00:35:52,150
from his dwindling pouch,
far more than was warranted,
793
00:35:52,237 --> 00:35:54,543
and expressly against
Her Ladyship's wishes.
794
00:35:54,630 --> 00:35:57,633
Don't tell Her Ladyship.
This is our little secret.
795
00:35:57,720 --> 00:35:58,721
Yes, sir.
796
00:35:58,982 --> 00:36:01,246
What's your name, my good man?
James, sir.
797
00:36:01,420 --> 00:36:03,857
James Darby.
Ooh, strong name. Very English.
798
00:36:04,031 --> 00:36:05,989
And yours?
Leslie.
799
00:36:06,555 --> 00:36:09,384
Not as strong.
A little feminine. Now...
800
00:36:09,776 --> 00:36:12,474
I'm going to call you Horace.
801
00:36:12,648 --> 00:36:15,477
It's a strong name.
My father was a Horace.
802
00:36:15,564 --> 00:36:16,913
Come along. Come along.
803
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,611
I'll leave you fine men
804
00:36:18,698 --> 00:36:20,874
in the care of my valet,
Mr Halifax.
805
00:36:21,091 --> 00:36:23,920
Check them for all signs
of pox, pimples,
806
00:36:24,051 --> 00:36:27,141
malodorous breath,
fetid sweat and foul urine.
807
00:36:27,228 --> 00:36:28,708
Then boil their clothes...
808
00:36:28,838 --> 00:36:30,623
[GROANS]
...perfume their limbs...
809
00:36:30,710 --> 00:36:33,103
[GROANS]
...clean them up... [SNIFFS]
810
00:36:33,278 --> 00:36:35,410
...show them the basics.
Chop chop.
811
00:36:35,628 --> 00:36:36,716
REGINALD: This is
the only warning
812
00:36:36,803 --> 00:36:38,544
you're going to get,
so, heed it well.
813
00:36:38,718 --> 00:36:41,634
Do not take advantage
of Sir Chauncey's charity.
814
00:36:41,764 --> 00:36:43,810
[BREATHES SHARPLY]
REGINALD: He may be a kind and magnanimous man,
815
00:36:43,897 --> 00:36:45,638
but I assure you, I am not.
816
00:36:46,073 --> 00:36:48,684
To even ponder pinching a pastry
817
00:36:48,771 --> 00:36:50,382
would be to meet
an untimely end.
818
00:36:50,599 --> 00:36:51,818
Am I understood?
[GULPS]
819
00:36:52,558 --> 00:36:54,473
Good.
[GASPS]
820
00:36:54,647 --> 00:36:59,173
[DISTANT BELL CHIMING]
Oh, not bad! Not bad at all!
821
00:36:59,565 --> 00:37:01,219
Well done, Reginald.
822
00:37:01,306 --> 00:37:02,698
Fine work.
Thank you, sir.
823
00:37:02,785 --> 00:37:04,961
How does it feel
to be a footman? [SNIFFS]
824
00:37:05,048 --> 00:37:08,661
To be out of the muck?
Like a new man, sir. Thank you.
825
00:37:08,835 --> 00:37:11,794
Brilliant. Less smiling.
But brilliant.
826
00:37:11,925 --> 00:37:14,406
Well done. Well done.
[HAMMER THUDDING]
827
00:37:14,580 --> 00:37:16,756
REGINALD: Yeah, that's it.
Hurry up. Pull it out.
828
00:37:16,843 --> 00:37:19,324
That's it. Yeah. Yeah, come on.
829
00:37:19,411 --> 00:37:21,717
I would help, but I'm utterly
useless with a hammer.
830
00:37:23,066 --> 00:37:27,810
[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[BOTH APPLAUD]
831
00:37:29,029 --> 00:37:30,378
[SIR CHAUNCEY GASPS]
832
00:37:30,465 --> 00:37:31,901
LADY SAVAGE: I don't like that.
833
00:37:34,208 --> 00:37:36,297
[GASPS]
834
00:37:39,779 --> 00:37:40,823
Ooh!
835
00:37:40,954 --> 00:37:44,087
[SLURPS]
Salmay, Dalmay, Adonay!
836
00:37:50,050 --> 00:37:53,271
[IMITATES GOOSE HONKING]
837
00:37:53,401 --> 00:37:54,620
[CHUCKLES] Oh, he's good,
isn't he?
838
00:37:54,707 --> 00:37:55,751
[CHUCKLES] Very.
839
00:38:02,192 --> 00:38:05,108
[CHUCKLES, APPLAUDS]
[APPLAUDS]
840
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:08,024
[SIGHS DEEPLY]
841
00:38:12,768 --> 00:38:14,422
What do you think
of the new footmen?
842
00:38:14,596 --> 00:38:16,294
Very respectable.
Hmm.
843
00:38:16,381 --> 00:38:17,512
What do you think
of our performers?
844
00:38:17,599 --> 00:38:18,992
Oh, quite riveting.
Yes.
845
00:38:19,122 --> 00:38:21,081
All the world's a stage...
846
00:38:21,255 --> 00:38:23,475
I could do this.
I've tread the boards,
847
00:38:23,562 --> 00:38:24,650
played the Bard.
848
00:38:24,780 --> 00:38:27,000
And all the men and women...
849
00:38:27,609 --> 00:38:29,219
Merely players.
...merely players.
850
00:38:29,481 --> 00:38:31,352
They have their exits...
PERFORMER: They have their exits...
851
00:38:32,048 --> 00:38:33,876
and entrances.
852
00:38:34,137 --> 00:38:36,705
And one man in his time...
853
00:38:37,271 --> 00:38:38,664
[MOUTHS] Plays many parts.
...plays many parts.
854
00:38:38,751 --> 00:38:43,364
Oh, yeah!
Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! [APPLAUDS]
855
00:38:43,451 --> 00:38:47,150
Jesus... [WHIMPERS]
...put me on the rack.
856
00:38:47,237 --> 00:38:49,501
[SOBS] If you don't
behave yourself,
857
00:38:49,588 --> 00:38:51,938
I'll have you severed
and fed to the mice!
858
00:38:52,242 --> 00:38:53,374
You fucker!
859
00:38:53,679 --> 00:38:56,812
[MOUSE SQUEAKING]
860
00:39:05,255 --> 00:39:07,867
[MUNCHES, SIGHS]
861
00:39:09,303 --> 00:39:12,567
[MUNCHES] Mm.
[GULPS, BREATHES DEEPLY]
862
00:39:13,307 --> 00:39:14,526
[INHALES]
863
00:39:14,787 --> 00:39:16,397
[MOUSE SQUEAKS]
[GROANS] Oh!
864
00:39:16,789 --> 00:39:17,833
Fuck!
865
00:39:18,312 --> 00:39:20,880
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
[HUFFS]
866
00:39:21,228 --> 00:39:23,926
[MOUSE SQUEAKS]
867
00:39:27,277 --> 00:39:28,453
[GRUMBLES]
868
00:39:32,413 --> 00:39:34,502
[MOUSE SQUEAKS]
869
00:39:34,937 --> 00:39:36,722
[CHUCKLES MENACINGLY]
LADY SAVAGE: Dorothy?
870
00:39:37,244 --> 00:39:39,028
Where are you? The rehearsal!
871
00:39:42,684 --> 00:39:43,685
Dorothy!
872
00:39:46,296 --> 00:39:47,385
Tighter.
873
00:39:47,472 --> 00:39:49,517
[CORD RUSTLING, SQUEAKING]
874
00:39:49,996 --> 00:39:50,997
Tighter!
875
00:39:53,303 --> 00:39:56,524
[EXCLAIMS, GROANS]
Ow! Be careful!
876
00:39:57,003 --> 00:39:58,221
Sorry, ma'am.
877
00:40:02,008 --> 00:40:03,836
[RAZOR BLADE CLINKING]
878
00:40:05,446 --> 00:40:08,797
[RAZOR BLADE SCRAPING]
879
00:40:09,494 --> 00:40:12,279
[FIREWOOD CRACKLING]
880
00:40:27,947 --> 00:40:32,560
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
881
00:40:46,269 --> 00:40:47,532
[INHALES]
882
00:40:59,587 --> 00:41:02,329
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[VOICES SNICKERING]
883
00:41:04,331 --> 00:41:05,593
[ANGUS GRUNTS]
884
00:41:20,086 --> 00:41:22,088
REGINALD: The rehearsal dinner
is nearly ready, sir.
885
00:41:22,305 --> 00:41:25,787
[CLOCK TICKING]
886
00:41:30,313 --> 00:41:32,707
Darling, we're going
to have to get the carpenter
887
00:41:32,794 --> 00:41:35,057
to raise the ceilings,
if your wigs get any larger.
888
00:41:35,144 --> 00:41:37,756
I can hear the complaints
of vexed theatregoers already.
889
00:41:37,843 --> 00:41:39,235
Oh, it's not that bad.
890
00:41:39,366 --> 00:41:41,020
It's a mountainous rodent.
891
00:41:41,150 --> 00:41:42,195
Oh.
892
00:41:42,369 --> 00:41:44,284
Oh, Duke,
what do you think of my gown?
893
00:41:44,371 --> 00:41:45,677
Is it too much?
894
00:41:46,765 --> 00:41:50,464
[CHUCKLING] Oh, Your Grace,
you're too kind! [CHUCKLES]
895
00:41:50,638 --> 00:41:52,771
What did he say?
A woman never tells.
896
00:41:53,075 --> 00:41:54,773
You're both mad as a hatter.
897
00:41:54,947 --> 00:41:57,384
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
898
00:41:57,471 --> 00:42:00,169
She's such a card. [CHUCKLES]
[CHUCKLES]
899
00:42:00,605 --> 00:42:04,043
Oh, this looks divine!
Oh.
900
00:42:04,130 --> 00:42:06,654
[CHUCKLES]
Ah!
901
00:42:07,089 --> 00:42:10,702
Hmm![SNIFFS] Mm!
902
00:42:13,356 --> 00:42:14,532
[SIGHS]
903
00:42:15,271 --> 00:42:18,536
I'd like to thank you all
for your generous attendance
904
00:42:18,623 --> 00:42:20,755
and decorous gifts.
905
00:42:20,842 --> 00:42:26,326
We are humbled and honored
to host the Duke and Duchess
906
00:42:26,413 --> 00:42:28,807
on such a glorious evening.
907
00:42:28,894 --> 00:42:31,026
[INHALES]
I'll finish the rest later.
908
00:42:31,374 --> 00:42:33,942
Cin-cin,and bon appétit.
909
00:42:34,073 --> 00:42:35,640
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
910
00:42:35,901 --> 00:42:37,816
[SLURPS] Mm!
[SIR CHAUNCEY SIGHS]
911
00:42:38,381 --> 00:42:40,775
[INHALES SHARPLY, SMACKS LIPS]
912
00:42:42,037 --> 00:42:44,083
[LADY SAVAGE SIGHS]
[CHUCKLES]
913
00:42:47,782 --> 00:42:48,914
[SIR CHAUNCEY GRUNTS]
914
00:42:50,002 --> 00:42:53,571
[CUTLERY CLINKING]
915
00:42:56,878 --> 00:42:57,705
[SNIFFS]
916
00:43:01,448 --> 00:43:04,016
[RETCHES, SPITS]
917
00:43:04,103 --> 00:43:08,455
[YELLS] What the hell is this?
Send it back!
918
00:43:08,542 --> 00:43:11,458
Well, it's a little undercooked,
but... it's not that bad.
919
00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:14,592
It's foul, positively rancid!
920
00:43:14,766 --> 00:43:17,246
And certainly not fit
for a bloody duke.
921
00:43:17,420 --> 00:43:18,944
We'll be sent to the gallows!
[SIGHS]
922
00:43:19,118 --> 00:43:23,165
Next course! [SLURPS, GARGLES]
923
00:43:24,993 --> 00:43:28,344
[GARGLES, RETCHES]
924
00:43:30,129 --> 00:43:32,305
[HAWKS, SPITS]
I'm so sorry, Duke.
925
00:43:32,392 --> 00:43:34,612
[RETCHES, GROANS]
926
00:43:34,742 --> 00:43:38,093
NARRATOR: After a long day
of endless eating and drinking,
927
00:43:38,224 --> 00:43:41,619
Chauncey finally succumbed
to his considerable pain.
928
00:43:41,706 --> 00:43:44,230
[SIR CHAUNCEY GRUNTS, GROANS]
929
00:43:44,317 --> 00:43:46,145
LADY SAVAGE: Darling?
[GROANS, SOBS]
930
00:43:46,232 --> 00:43:49,061
What is it?
SIR CHAUNCEY: [WAILS] Ow, my toe!
931
00:43:49,148 --> 00:43:50,192
Get the doctor.
932
00:43:50,279 --> 00:43:52,542
[WHINES, SOBS]
Oh, darling.
933
00:43:54,370 --> 00:43:55,676
Dorothy, help!
[GROANS]
934
00:43:55,894 --> 00:44:01,508
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC BUILDS]
935
00:44:03,989 --> 00:44:05,555
[GROANS, EXHALES]
936
00:44:07,079 --> 00:44:10,212
[WHIMPERS, BREATHES HEAVILY]
937
00:44:10,299 --> 00:44:14,782
Yes, it appears you have
a touch of the King's disease,
938
00:44:14,869 --> 00:44:16,958
as they say.
King's disease?
939
00:44:17,045 --> 00:44:20,005
It feels like the bloody thing
is going to explode!
940
00:44:20,135 --> 00:44:22,311
I assure you,
it will not explode.
941
00:44:22,398 --> 00:44:24,183
The Duke is coming
in less than a week.
942
00:44:24,270 --> 00:44:27,229
I cannot be hobbling about
like some village idiot!
943
00:44:27,316 --> 00:44:29,884
Take this three times a day.
[SIGHS]
944
00:44:30,580 --> 00:44:32,452
It's the very latest.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
945
00:44:32,582 --> 00:44:35,455
DR HEMMINGS: A peculiar,
though effective combination
946
00:44:35,585 --> 00:44:39,589
of laxatives, liquorice
and coriander.
947
00:44:39,677 --> 00:44:42,680
SIR CHAUNCEY: Liquorice?
If it worsens, let me know at once,
948
00:44:42,854 --> 00:44:45,987
and I'll apply
the necessary leeches.
949
00:44:46,205 --> 00:44:49,382
I must advise
the strict avoidance... [BREATHES DEEPLY]
950
00:44:49,469 --> 00:44:51,732
...of all red meat and drink
951
00:44:52,254 --> 00:44:54,953
until the swelling
and pain pass.
952
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:56,041
You have my word, Doctor.
953
00:44:56,476 --> 00:44:58,652
I'll not drink a droplet
till the Duke's dinner, I swear.
954
00:44:58,783 --> 00:45:01,916
[WINE POURING]
955
00:45:02,047 --> 00:45:03,962
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
956
00:45:04,049 --> 00:45:06,878
[SIGHS] Duke and Duchess
are only days away.
957
00:45:07,313 --> 00:45:08,967
Would you like some more, sir?
SIR CHAUNCEY: Hmm.
958
00:45:10,490 --> 00:45:14,842
[SLURPS, GULPS]
959
00:45:15,321 --> 00:45:19,412
[BELCHES, BREATHES HEAVILY]
960
00:45:21,544 --> 00:45:24,634
[MUNCHES]
961
00:45:27,725 --> 00:45:29,161
["THE FOUR SEASONS, AUTUMN"
BY VIVALDI PLAYING]
962
00:45:29,248 --> 00:45:30,640
REGINALD: Up, up, up! Careful!
963
00:45:33,948 --> 00:45:36,255
NARRATOR: With five days
till the Duke's dinner,
964
00:45:36,429 --> 00:45:39,258
as was custom,
they sent their luggage ahead
965
00:45:39,345 --> 00:45:42,348
with strict instructions
on how best to prepare.
966
00:45:44,045 --> 00:45:45,568
COACHMAN 2: Whoa.
967
00:45:46,482 --> 00:45:48,963
NARRATOR: From the precise fold
of a precious garment,
968
00:45:49,094 --> 00:45:51,792
to the herbs with which
to scent their pillow.
969
00:45:53,881 --> 00:45:54,926
[WHISTLES]
970
00:45:55,100 --> 00:45:56,928
I know movement
isn't your first instinct.
971
00:45:57,015 --> 00:45:58,712
Should we try a little urgency?
972
00:45:58,799 --> 00:46:01,628
[WORKERS GRUNT]
REGINALD: Through to the back!
973
00:46:05,371 --> 00:46:06,764
MR BLACK: Savage!
974
00:46:07,939 --> 00:46:08,940
Savage!
975
00:46:09,679 --> 00:46:13,074
Why, Mr Black,
to what do we owe the honor?
976
00:46:13,161 --> 00:46:14,902
Enough tomfoolery, boy.
977
00:46:14,989 --> 00:46:17,122
I see our traveler
has returned.
978
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:19,994
I need a word
with Mr Savage, at once!
979
00:46:20,125 --> 00:46:22,127
It's true, he has,
but I'm afraid
980
00:46:22,214 --> 00:46:26,348
he's fallen gravely ill,
possibly the pox. Last week it was Hamburg,
981
00:46:26,435 --> 00:46:28,916
now it's the bloody pox!
You're shameless.
982
00:46:29,177 --> 00:46:30,700
This is Mr Loughton,
the gentleman
983
00:46:30,788 --> 00:46:32,441
to whom your employer sold
984
00:46:32,746 --> 00:46:34,530
the same parcel of land
as he did to me.
985
00:46:34,661 --> 00:46:35,705
Next time you see us,
986
00:46:36,097 --> 00:46:38,578
we shall be accompanied
by the authorities. Good day!
987
00:46:39,709 --> 00:46:40,928
Good day, sir.
988
00:46:43,757 --> 00:46:45,498
[CLAPS] Come on, Darby!
989
00:46:48,153 --> 00:46:49,937
NARRATOR: With the
Duke's arrival imminent,
990
00:46:50,024 --> 00:46:53,027
Lady Savage called
upon Mr Brimsby once more.
991
00:46:53,288 --> 00:46:54,855
Against her better judgement,
992
00:46:54,942 --> 00:46:57,510
she sold a slew
of family heirlooms
993
00:46:57,597 --> 00:46:59,817
to help pay
for their mounting bills.
994
00:47:01,557 --> 00:47:03,081
She even conceded to sell
995
00:47:03,168 --> 00:47:05,213
her grandmother's
cherished ring,
996
00:47:05,518 --> 00:47:07,476
that she had sworn she wouldn't.
997
00:47:07,563 --> 00:47:09,783
Stunning specimen,
Your Ladyship...
998
00:47:10,610 --> 00:47:12,742
truly.
Thank you, Mr Brimsby.
999
00:47:12,830 --> 00:47:15,484
[COINS JANGLING]
1000
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:19,706
[BREATHES SHARPLY]
1001
00:47:22,883 --> 00:47:24,276
[SIGHS]
1002
00:47:24,406 --> 00:47:26,060
Mama, you're going to send us
1003
00:47:26,147 --> 00:47:27,845
to the poor house
if you keep this up.
1004
00:47:28,802 --> 00:47:31,674
Not now, Fanny. I'm in no mood.
[BOX LID CLOSING]
1005
00:47:32,023 --> 00:47:33,459
[BELL RINGING]
1006
00:47:33,546 --> 00:47:34,547
SIR CHAUNCEY: Hurry!
1007
00:47:35,853 --> 00:47:38,290
Hurry. [BREATHES HEAVILY]
1008
00:47:38,812 --> 00:47:40,814
So much needs to be done, I--
1009
00:47:40,901 --> 00:47:42,860
My Lord, please.
Remember what the doctor said!
1010
00:47:42,990 --> 00:47:44,992
I don't care
what the bloody doctor says!
1011
00:47:45,166 --> 00:47:46,211
What does he know?
1012
00:47:46,298 --> 00:47:48,126
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
Liquorice and laxatives?
1013
00:47:48,256 --> 00:47:51,303
I've been shitting
in a bloody pan all night!
1014
00:47:51,390 --> 00:47:53,566
[INHALES, GRUNTING] I need
to check on preparations!
1015
00:47:53,653 --> 00:47:57,875
You're not going anywhere,
per doctor's orders!
1016
00:47:57,962 --> 00:47:59,659
[GRUMBLES, PANTS]
1017
00:47:59,789 --> 00:48:03,228
Perhaps Mrs Bennett was right.
1018
00:48:03,532 --> 00:48:05,143
Evil is afoot.
1019
00:48:05,578 --> 00:48:09,277
These Jacobites
and wretched revolutionaries
1020
00:48:09,364 --> 00:48:10,496
are stirring up the masses.
1021
00:48:10,583 --> 00:48:12,672
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
Cholera and typhus
1022
00:48:12,759 --> 00:48:14,587
preying upon the poor.
Huh?
1023
00:48:14,674 --> 00:48:17,111
And now pox creeping
its way to the countryside
1024
00:48:17,198 --> 00:48:18,765
and lurking at our doorstep.
1025
00:48:19,026 --> 00:48:21,550
[GRUNTING] Not to mention
my bloody toe!
1026
00:48:21,637 --> 00:48:24,336
[GASPS, SHUDDERS]
[PIG SNORTING]
1027
00:48:30,603 --> 00:48:32,083
Just relax, My Lord.
1028
00:48:32,170 --> 00:48:33,954
Everything's going
to be all right.
1029
00:48:34,041 --> 00:48:36,696
Oh, you're a divine creature.
1030
00:48:36,914 --> 00:48:40,308
A celestial being
with sanguine skin
1031
00:48:40,395 --> 00:48:44,834
and supple thighs. [GROWLS]
[GIGGLES] I must confess,
1032
00:48:44,922 --> 00:48:47,402
I want nothing more
than to bear you a son.
1033
00:48:47,489 --> 00:48:50,014
[GASPS, BREATHES DEEPLY]
The gift Her Ladyship has never been able to give.
1034
00:48:50,101 --> 00:48:53,626
To be your actual mistress.
[GROWLS, SHUDDERS]
1035
00:48:53,713 --> 00:48:57,021
I promise, darling,
it'll happen in due time. [GIGGLES]
1036
00:48:57,108 --> 00:48:59,240
[GROWLS, INHALES SHARPLY]
1037
00:48:59,371 --> 00:49:02,896
Now, do you have any
clotted cream, perchance?
1038
00:49:02,983 --> 00:49:04,811
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
1039
00:49:04,942 --> 00:49:07,596
[REGINALD SLURPS, SMOOCHES]
1040
00:49:08,032 --> 00:49:09,598
[CLEARS THROAT] Erm...
1041
00:49:10,643 --> 00:49:13,820
hypothetically speaking,
could you ever envision me
1042
00:49:13,951 --> 00:49:15,865
as an adequate replacement
for Chauncey,
1043
00:49:15,996 --> 00:49:18,085
if his gout were to worsen,
1044
00:49:18,172 --> 00:49:21,262
or something unforeseen
were to happen to him?
1045
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:24,918
What a perfectly absurd idea,
Mr Halifax. You jest.
1046
00:49:25,527 --> 00:49:27,312
For if your insinuations
were designs,
1047
00:49:27,399 --> 00:49:29,270
I'd have to have you sent
to the gallows.
1048
00:49:29,401 --> 00:49:31,098
Now, resume licking my bum
1049
00:49:31,185 --> 00:49:33,405
before I give it
another thought. Of course, My Ladyship.
1050
00:49:34,232 --> 00:49:37,409
[SLURPS, SMOOCHES]
Oh! [CHUCKLES, MOANS]
1051
00:49:38,279 --> 00:49:41,848
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[CROWS CAWING]
1052
00:49:43,937 --> 00:49:46,200
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
1053
00:49:46,287 --> 00:49:48,246
Did you poison him?
Of course not. Did you?
1054
00:49:48,333 --> 00:49:49,595
Of course not!
1055
00:49:49,899 --> 00:49:51,727
Oh, he's probably
just being dramatic.
1056
00:49:51,814 --> 00:49:53,860
He doesn't handle
pain very well. Hmm.
1057
00:49:53,947 --> 00:49:57,037
Is she any closer?
[WHISPERS] She's playing coy, but coming around. You'll see.
1058
00:49:57,124 --> 00:49:58,821
[SHEARS SNIPPING]
By the time the Devonshires leave...
1059
00:49:58,908 --> 00:50:02,129
[SNIPPING CONTINUES]
1060
00:50:12,705 --> 00:50:13,836
Leslie.
1061
00:50:14,533 --> 00:50:17,362
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
You didn't happen to hear anything, did you?
1062
00:50:19,277 --> 00:50:22,280
You weren't
eavesdropping, were you?
1063
00:50:23,585 --> 00:50:26,632
Spying like a weaselly knave?
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
1064
00:50:26,762 --> 00:50:27,763
Hmm?
1065
00:50:28,634 --> 00:50:30,723
[LESLIE WHIMPERS]
REGINALD: Come here! You little shit! Come here!
1066
00:50:30,810 --> 00:50:32,855
[LESLIE PANTING]
REGINALD: Leslie!
1067
00:50:32,942 --> 00:50:35,641
LESLIE: Help! [WHIMPERS] Help!
REGINALD: Horace!
1068
00:50:35,771 --> 00:50:38,122
[LESLIE WHIMPERS, PANTS]
REGINALD: Leslie, come here!
1069
00:50:38,252 --> 00:50:39,601
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
1070
00:50:39,688 --> 00:50:41,864
[LESLIE SCREAMING]
[SHEARS SLASHING]
1071
00:50:43,518 --> 00:50:46,173
They're all rejection letters.
Every one of them.
1072
00:50:47,696 --> 00:50:49,698
SIR CHAUNCEY: What, Dean Swift?
No.
1073
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:52,919
Lord Cumberland?
No.
1074
00:50:53,398 --> 00:50:54,834
They're all very genteel,
1075
00:50:54,921 --> 00:50:56,357
but they're rejections
nonetheless.
1076
00:50:57,576 --> 00:50:59,795
It appears that no one
wants to attend the dinner
1077
00:50:59,882 --> 00:51:01,884
for fear of having to travel
during an outbreak.
1078
00:51:02,624 --> 00:51:04,409
Er. "We regret to inform you..."
1079
00:51:05,453 --> 00:51:07,107
"We cordially have to..."
1080
00:51:12,634 --> 00:51:13,983
"It is with a heavy heart
1081
00:51:14,071 --> 00:51:15,942
that I must decline
your invitation."
1082
00:51:17,074 --> 00:51:19,293
NARRATOR: It was as if,
with each rejection,
1083
00:51:19,380 --> 00:51:20,860
he could hear them snickering.
1084
00:51:20,990 --> 00:51:22,427
[VOICES SNICKERING]
1085
00:51:22,601 --> 00:51:24,081
NARRATOR:
He wasn't noble enough.
1086
00:51:24,516 --> 00:51:27,388
Gentlemanly enough.
Smart enough.
1087
00:51:27,954 --> 00:51:29,216
[LADY SAVAGE SIGHS DEEPLY]
1088
00:51:29,434 --> 00:51:32,045
NARRATOR: No matter what he did,
or how much he spent,
1089
00:51:32,176 --> 00:51:34,134
what paintings
adorned his walls,
1090
00:51:34,221 --> 00:51:35,614
or clothes his person,
1091
00:51:35,962 --> 00:51:38,834
Chauncey could never escape
the simple fact
1092
00:51:38,921 --> 00:51:41,924
he was born
with the wrong last name.
1093
00:51:55,460 --> 00:51:56,896
LADY SAVAGE: Yes.
Move your hand to the right.
1094
00:51:56,983 --> 00:51:59,159
Bottom corner--
Yeah, that's it, and then up.
1095
00:51:59,246 --> 00:52:01,118
Up, up, up, up, up.
Higher, higher, higher.
1096
00:52:01,205 --> 00:52:02,206
Up, up, up.
1097
00:52:02,336 --> 00:52:04,425
No, no, now you've gone too far.
Come down.
1098
00:52:04,512 --> 00:52:05,687
Up on the left.
1099
00:52:06,079 --> 00:52:07,472
That's it. Keep going,
keep going, keep going,
1100
00:52:07,559 --> 00:52:08,647
keep going,
keep going, keep going,
1101
00:52:08,777 --> 00:52:10,083
keep... keep--
No, keep going, keep going.
1102
00:52:10,214 --> 00:52:12,041
No, no, no, no, no! Careful!
Careful, careful, careful!
1103
00:52:12,129 --> 00:52:13,434
Now down a little.
1104
00:52:14,435 --> 00:52:16,785
Yes, yes, yes. No, stop.
What do you think, darling?
1105
00:52:16,916 --> 00:52:19,832
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
[CLOCK TICKING]
1106
00:52:20,746 --> 00:52:22,226
LADY SAVAGE:
Look, darling, they match there!
1107
00:52:22,313 --> 00:52:23,531
NARRATOR:
In her husband's absence,
1108
00:52:23,749 --> 00:52:26,752
Lady Savage had commanded
the ship quite admirably.
1109
00:52:26,839 --> 00:52:30,669
Leaving no stone unturned,
she had led her listless staff
1110
00:52:30,756 --> 00:52:33,541
the way a great general
might stage a siege...
1111
00:52:33,628 --> 00:52:35,935
Er. Mr Darby, those vases
don't belong there,
1112
00:52:36,022 --> 00:52:38,938
they live in the parlor room.
..or dramatist his opening night.
1113
00:52:39,025 --> 00:52:40,244
[SIGHS] Mr Walcot.
1114
00:52:40,461 --> 00:52:42,898
[GASPS] Darling,
doesn't this look wonderful?
1115
00:52:43,203 --> 00:52:45,336
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
1116
00:52:45,684 --> 00:52:48,121
[CLICKS TONGUE] Mm!
1117
00:52:48,382 --> 00:52:50,950
[MUNCHES] Mm!
1118
00:52:53,648 --> 00:52:54,823
[MUNCHES]
1119
00:52:55,128 --> 00:52:58,610
Mr Walcot,
you've improved enormously.
1120
00:52:58,871 --> 00:53:01,308
That pear is tart and delicious.
[ANGUS CHUCKLES]
1121
00:53:01,439 --> 00:53:05,182
We'll have this,
this, this, this, and this.
1122
00:53:06,531 --> 00:53:08,533
Er, of course, ma'am.
1123
00:53:10,839 --> 00:53:11,753
Er.
1124
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:13,146
Miss Neville.
Hmm?
1125
00:53:13,233 --> 00:53:15,714
Is that a stain?
Sorry, ma'am.
1126
00:53:15,975 --> 00:53:17,542
What if the Duke were to see it?
1127
00:53:18,673 --> 00:53:22,286
[PANTS]
1128
00:53:23,461 --> 00:53:26,028
[BREATHES SHARPLY]
1129
00:53:26,899 --> 00:53:29,118
[MENACING MUSIC PLAYING]
NARRATOR: In his fragile state,
1130
00:53:29,206 --> 00:53:32,165
Chauncey could no longer see
the beauty of their home,
1131
00:53:32,296 --> 00:53:33,862
only its warts.
1132
00:53:33,993 --> 00:53:36,561
He became transfixed
by a minuscule crack
1133
00:53:36,648 --> 00:53:40,173
on a distant wall, the corner
of a painting slightly askew,
1134
00:53:40,260 --> 00:53:43,916
a sliver of dust on the mantel.
Nothing was right.
1135
00:53:44,046 --> 00:53:46,440
A sort of madness
had begun to sink in
1136
00:53:46,527 --> 00:53:48,573
that could not be hindered
or halted.
1137
00:53:48,877 --> 00:53:53,230
Like an undercooked soufflé,
he was collapsing into himself.
1138
00:53:56,189 --> 00:53:57,321
REGINALD: Would you like
some wine, sir?
1139
00:53:57,408 --> 00:53:58,931
LADY SAVAGE: No.
No, he would not.
1140
00:53:59,714 --> 00:54:00,759
Would you, darling?
1141
00:54:02,717 --> 00:54:04,328
Darling?
[WHIMPERS SOFTLY]
1142
00:54:04,763 --> 00:54:07,766
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
1143
00:54:19,778 --> 00:54:22,041
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
1144
00:54:34,619 --> 00:54:36,708
[BREATHES HEAVILY, HUFFS]
1145
00:54:38,666 --> 00:54:40,625
[GASPS]
1146
00:54:40,973 --> 00:54:42,322
What happened to...
What's his name?
1147
00:54:42,409 --> 00:54:44,019
REGINALD: Who?
The toothless fellow.
1148
00:54:44,106 --> 00:54:45,717
I haven't seen him all day.
Er, Leslie?
1149
00:54:45,847 --> 00:54:48,285
Er. Yes, that's it.
Horace. Where's Horace?
1150
00:54:48,415 --> 00:54:50,112
He must have disappeared.
1151
00:54:50,199 --> 00:54:52,593
Sir, please.
People don't just disappear.
1152
00:54:52,767 --> 00:54:54,726
REGINALD: Perhaps he quit
or joined the Jacobites.
1153
00:54:54,813 --> 00:54:56,162
Horace wouldn't that.
We had a connection.
1154
00:54:56,249 --> 00:54:58,599
Darling, can this wait?
It can't. Have you seen him?
1155
00:54:58,904 --> 00:55:00,514
No, sir.
Well, where the hell is he?
1156
00:55:00,601 --> 00:55:02,603
I don't know, sir.
Maybe he fell ill with the pox,
1157
00:55:02,734 --> 00:55:05,214
or ran off with a barmaid.
Well, find him, goddamn it!
1158
00:55:05,345 --> 00:55:07,304
Do I have to do
everything myself?
1159
00:55:07,391 --> 00:55:09,828
The Duke's dinner
is any day now,
1160
00:55:10,045 --> 00:55:13,092
and I'm surrounded
by idiocy and ineptitude!
1161
00:55:13,222 --> 00:55:15,747
Please, sir, stand still!
1162
00:55:15,877 --> 00:55:18,227
If you ever want me
to finish this expeditious... [SIR CHAUNCEY HUFFS]
1163
00:55:18,315 --> 00:55:20,665
...hackneyed portrait
of familial forgery
1164
00:55:20,752 --> 00:55:21,927
and counterfeit love,
1165
00:55:22,144 --> 00:55:24,973
then you will do me the kindness
to stand bloody still!
1166
00:55:25,104 --> 00:55:26,235
[GASPS]
1167
00:55:27,454 --> 00:55:30,544
[CLICKS TONGUE] I'm sorry, sir.
I-- I-- I-- I spoke out of turn.
1168
00:55:30,631 --> 00:55:32,459
I-- I did not mean any offence.
1169
00:55:32,546 --> 00:55:35,114
I-- I-- I have been under
a great deal of stress
1170
00:55:35,201 --> 00:55:37,508
and I am simply trying
to illuminate--
1171
00:55:37,595 --> 00:55:40,249
"Familial forgery
and counterfeit love"?
1172
00:55:40,641 --> 00:55:42,339
You, Mr Roos...
1173
00:55:42,513 --> 00:55:44,906
[WHIMPERS]
...have the tact, taste, and artistic acumen
1174
00:55:45,037 --> 00:55:46,473
of a blind infant
1175
00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:48,780
painting with his own feces,
you little shit!
1176
00:55:48,867 --> 00:55:50,303
I've never heard
such abrasive... [EXHALES SHAKILY]
1177
00:55:50,434 --> 00:55:51,478
...brushstrokes in my life.
1178
00:55:51,696 --> 00:55:54,351
May I remind you
that it is you who works for me?
1179
00:55:54,742 --> 00:55:56,918
You've been paid handsomely
for your rapidity. Well...
1180
00:55:57,005 --> 00:55:59,268
And if I hear any more grumbling
or grievance,
1181
00:55:59,356 --> 00:56:00,444
I shall have no choice
1182
00:56:00,574 --> 00:56:02,141
but to carve up your hands
with a hatchet.
1183
00:56:02,271 --> 00:56:03,490
Am I understood, hmm?
1184
00:56:04,535 --> 00:56:07,276
And you, dearest Reginald,
mutinous dissident,
1185
00:56:07,451 --> 00:56:08,887
are you trying to thwart...
1186
00:56:09,017 --> 00:56:10,845
Oh...
...and undermine this glorious dinner
1187
00:56:10,932 --> 00:56:13,370
with your incessant
incompetence, hmm?
1188
00:56:13,457 --> 00:56:15,241
Not only can you
not lead your staff,
1189
00:56:15,328 --> 00:56:17,069
apparently,
you cannot find them.
1190
00:56:17,156 --> 00:56:19,027
And you, you're no better,
1191
00:56:19,245 --> 00:56:21,682
with your sympathetic ear,
your generous bosom,
1192
00:56:21,769 --> 00:56:23,815
your callous cunt
and clotted cream.
1193
00:56:23,902 --> 00:56:25,382
You're a
chocolate-covered spider!
1194
00:56:25,512 --> 00:56:26,731
And where's Angus, hmm?
[DOROTHY GASPS]
1195
00:56:26,948 --> 00:56:29,298
Angus Walcot,
the only man in England
1196
00:56:29,429 --> 00:56:32,389
who can cook a cow
that even I cannot eat!
1197
00:56:32,476 --> 00:56:36,828
[GRUMBLES] You see this?
What would the Duke say?
1198
00:56:36,915 --> 00:56:41,702
This entire house is covered
in a film of filth and poverty!
1199
00:56:41,833 --> 00:56:44,705
Our food is wretched.
Our flowers stale.
1200
00:56:44,792 --> 00:56:46,228
Our staff missing.
1201
00:56:46,315 --> 00:56:49,710
It has to be perfect!
I will not be mocked!
1202
00:56:50,537 --> 00:56:52,844
Nothing is right!
Where's Horace?
1203
00:56:52,931 --> 00:56:54,454
Where is Horace?!
Who?
1204
00:56:55,107 --> 00:56:57,718
Your father's dead, my darling,
and he has been for many years. [BREATHES HEAVILY]
1205
00:56:57,805 --> 00:57:00,895
Just... just breathe.
[SOBBING] What will the Duke think of us?
1206
00:57:00,982 --> 00:57:03,202
I'm a monstrous sight.
Look at us!
1207
00:57:03,289 --> 00:57:07,336
A hunchback of Yorkshire
in this house of horrors.
1208
00:57:07,424 --> 00:57:09,513
No, no,
be calm, my love. Be calm.
1209
00:57:09,600 --> 00:57:10,992
[YELLS] I am calm!
[SCREAMS]
1210
00:57:11,079 --> 00:57:13,430
[SCREAMS]
FANNY: Papa! [SCREAMS]
1211
00:57:13,908 --> 00:57:16,041
[PANTS]
1212
00:57:16,128 --> 00:57:17,956
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
1213
00:57:18,478 --> 00:57:21,089
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
1214
00:57:27,356 --> 00:57:30,359
Someone should sort out
that crack.
1215
00:57:31,143 --> 00:57:32,274
[GRUNTS SOFTLY]
1216
00:57:36,365 --> 00:57:37,932
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIR CHAUNCEY GROANS, SHUDDERS]
1217
00:57:38,019 --> 00:57:40,282
DR HEMMINGS: Your condition
has worsened precipitously.
1218
00:57:40,369 --> 00:57:42,328
Have you been taking
your medication,
1219
00:57:42,415 --> 00:57:44,112
following my
strict instructions?
1220
00:57:44,199 --> 00:57:45,853
I've fallen gravely ill, Doctor.
1221
00:57:45,940 --> 00:57:48,421
Can't you feel my fever?
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
1222
00:57:49,335 --> 00:57:50,728
You have no fever, sir.
1223
00:57:50,858 --> 00:57:53,426
Perhaps it's pox, or...
or the sweating sickness then.
1224
00:57:53,513 --> 00:57:57,038
[GRUMBLING] Or those
wretched Bennetts have...
1225
00:57:57,125 --> 00:58:00,346
have poisoned me
for my position!
1226
00:58:00,433 --> 00:58:03,392
I can assure you,
you have not been poisoned, sir. [BREATHES HEAVILY]
1227
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:06,308
It is merely gout.
You just need rest.
1228
00:58:06,395 --> 00:58:09,616
There's no time to rest!
The Duke and Duchess are coming!
1229
00:58:09,703 --> 00:58:12,837
Search the Bennetts' house
at once! I demand it!
1230
00:58:12,924 --> 00:58:15,448
Odious butchers!
This is negligence!
1231
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:17,232
Wickedness! [BREATHES HEAVILY]
[SHUSHES]
1232
00:58:17,319 --> 00:58:19,104
Yes, er, why don't we try
a little laudanum
1233
00:58:19,191 --> 00:58:20,975
to ease the pain?
[SIR CHAUNCEY GROANS, PANTS]
1234
00:58:21,062 --> 00:58:24,152
Now, stick your tongue out,
and say, "Ah."
1235
00:58:24,239 --> 00:58:27,329
Ah... [MOANS, GULPS]
1236
00:58:27,504 --> 00:58:29,201
DR HEMMINGS: Now...
Opium.
1237
00:58:29,331 --> 00:58:31,943
...I shall apply the leeches.
1238
00:58:32,770 --> 00:58:34,772
[UNSETTLING MUSIC PLAYING]
1239
00:58:36,687 --> 00:58:41,039
DR HEMMINGS: One.
SIR CHAUNCEY: [CHUCKLING] That's ticklish.
1240
00:58:41,126 --> 00:58:43,955
[LAUGHING] It's ticklish.
[GROANS]
1241
00:58:45,652 --> 00:58:46,740
Two.
1242
00:58:47,915 --> 00:58:51,484
[SHUDDERS, STAMMERS] Slimy...
1243
00:58:51,963 --> 00:58:52,833
leech.
1244
00:58:53,660 --> 00:58:55,706
[WHIMPERS]
DR HEMMINGS: Three.
1245
00:58:55,793 --> 00:58:58,709
[SIR CHAUNCEY PANTS, CHUCKLES]
Oh!
1246
00:58:58,839 --> 00:59:01,538
DR HEMMINGS: Yes, this one
is the clever one. [SIR CHAUNCEY HISSES, GROANS]
1247
00:59:02,364 --> 00:59:03,322
[MOANS]
1248
00:59:04,062 --> 00:59:06,586
And my favorite, four.
1249
00:59:07,935 --> 00:59:09,458
My best leech.
1250
00:59:09,589 --> 00:59:11,069
Now, they will help.
1251
00:59:11,156 --> 00:59:13,985
But you must follow
my dietary instructions
1252
00:59:14,159 --> 00:59:16,640
if you are to heal in time
for your dinner.
1253
00:59:16,727 --> 00:59:18,903
You have my word.
DR HEMMINGS: Hmm.
1254
00:59:19,077 --> 00:59:21,819
[MUMBLES] Opium, opium.
DR HEMMINGS: Yes.
1255
00:59:21,949 --> 00:59:24,778
SIR CHAUNCEY: [MUMBLES]
Opium. Opium. More opium.
1256
00:59:24,865 --> 00:59:27,912
Opium. More opium.
[LADY SAVAGE CLICKS TONGUE]
1257
00:59:27,999 --> 00:59:29,217
SIR CHAUNCEY: More opium.
1258
00:59:30,915 --> 00:59:34,179
[UNSETTLING MUSIC CONTINUES]
1259
00:59:51,022 --> 00:59:52,414
[PIG SNORTING]
1260
00:59:52,501 --> 00:59:54,503
[EXCLAIMS, GASPS]
1261
00:59:55,504 --> 00:59:57,942
Dinner's tonight,
I'm going to be late.
1262
00:59:58,029 --> 01:00:00,901
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
1263
01:00:02,686 --> 01:00:06,820
[PIG GRUNTING, SNORTING]
SIR CHAUNCEY: Where am I?
1264
01:00:06,951 --> 01:00:10,694
[PANTS] How did I get here?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
1265
01:00:11,216 --> 01:00:15,133
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
Where's my wig?
1266
01:00:16,961 --> 01:00:18,440
What if somebody sees me?
1267
01:00:18,571 --> 01:00:21,574
What if the Duke
sees me? [GASPS]
1268
01:00:21,966 --> 01:00:24,708
They're going to be here
in a moment.
1269
01:00:24,795 --> 01:00:26,535
[EXCLAIMS, GRUNTS]
1270
01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:31,671
[SOBBING] The Duke is coming.
The Duke is coming.
1271
01:00:31,802 --> 01:00:35,196
[MUMBLES] The Duke is coming.
The Duke is coming. [PIGS GRUNTING, SQUEALING]
1272
01:00:35,632 --> 01:00:39,026
[SCREAMS]
1273
01:00:39,636 --> 01:00:42,595
[GASPS, PANTS]
1274
01:00:43,161 --> 01:00:45,598
[GRUNTS, GROANS]
1275
01:00:47,905 --> 01:00:49,080
Is anyone there?
1276
01:00:49,297 --> 01:00:51,691
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[BREATHES HEAVILY] Reginald?
1277
01:00:53,040 --> 01:00:54,085
Dorothy?
1278
01:00:55,956 --> 01:00:57,044
Georgina?
1279
01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:01,875
[GRUNTS, PANTS, GROANS]
1280
01:01:05,531 --> 01:01:06,575
Anyone?
1281
01:01:10,841 --> 01:01:11,842
Anyone?
1282
01:01:11,929 --> 01:01:16,281
[TENSE MUSIC BUILDS]
1283
01:01:16,629 --> 01:01:17,935
[GRUNTS SOFTLY]
1284
01:01:25,856 --> 01:01:26,944
Reginald?
1285
01:01:29,250 --> 01:01:30,382
Darling?
1286
01:01:31,426 --> 01:01:34,908
[PIGS SNORTING, SQUEALING]
1287
01:01:35,517 --> 01:01:37,215
What's that sound?
1288
01:01:40,740 --> 01:01:43,482
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
1289
01:01:45,179 --> 01:01:46,485
Erm. Hello?
1290
01:01:48,574 --> 01:01:52,273
Hello?
[PIGS CONTINUE SQUEALING]
1291
01:01:53,492 --> 01:01:56,756
[LADY SAVAGE PANTING]
1292
01:01:56,843 --> 01:02:00,804
[REGINALD GRUNTING]
[LADY SAVAGE MOANING]
1293
01:02:07,898 --> 01:02:10,727
[MOANS, GASPS][GRUNTS]
1294
01:02:12,424 --> 01:02:14,295
It can't be. [WHIMPERS]
1295
01:02:14,469 --> 01:02:17,385
[GASPS]
[WHISPERS] Oh, s... sorry.
1296
01:02:17,777 --> 01:02:19,605
Reginald, how could you?
1297
01:02:20,475 --> 01:02:22,434
He's, er...
I...
1298
01:02:22,521 --> 01:02:24,523
er, wonder whether we might...
[LADY SAVAGE BREATHES HEAVILY]
1299
01:02:24,610 --> 01:02:27,047
...just go back to the way
things were a moment ago,
1300
01:02:27,134 --> 01:02:29,310
and pretend this never happened?
1301
01:02:29,397 --> 01:02:31,835
Your cock is inside my wife!
1302
01:02:32,009 --> 01:02:33,750
[GASPS, MOANS]
Yes...
1303
01:02:34,185 --> 01:02:35,534
Oh!
[GRUNTS]
1304
01:02:35,621 --> 01:02:37,449
[MOANS]
SIR CHAUNCEY: I... is that my wig?
1305
01:02:37,928 --> 01:02:40,713
Er, please, sir,
let's not do anything brash.
1306
01:02:40,844 --> 01:02:42,236
You swine!
1307
01:02:42,541 --> 01:02:44,935
You've left me no choice
in the matter, I'm afraid. Er...
1308
01:02:45,022 --> 01:02:46,371
I must!
You mustn't.
1309
01:02:46,458 --> 01:02:47,589
I must...
REGINALD: You mustn't.
1310
01:02:47,676 --> 01:02:49,200
..demand...
Please don't.
1311
01:02:49,287 --> 01:02:51,724
...satisfaction!
Oh, fuck, really?
1312
01:02:52,029 --> 01:02:55,249
[FLIES BUZZING]
1313
01:03:02,822 --> 01:03:07,609
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
1314
01:03:11,483 --> 01:03:13,964
NARRATOR: Chauncey found himself
in a moral quandary
1315
01:03:14,051 --> 01:03:15,704
of the most complex nature...
1316
01:03:15,792 --> 01:03:17,097
Double, bubble,
toil and trouble.
1317
01:03:17,228 --> 01:03:20,100
Passions burn
and bets are double. [BLOWS AIR]
1318
01:03:22,059 --> 01:03:24,844
...to defend his honor
and adopted family name...
1319
01:03:24,931 --> 01:03:26,454
Yes!
...or to possibly kill
1320
01:03:26,541 --> 01:03:30,067
his best and, frankly,
only friend. [BLOWS AIR, KISSES]
1321
01:03:31,242 --> 01:03:33,766
I've never dueled
without Reginald.
1322
01:03:34,332 --> 01:03:37,552
Frankly, he usually
defended my honor.
1323
01:03:38,379 --> 01:03:41,252
I don't know what to do.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
1324
01:03:41,339 --> 01:03:45,473
Perhaps I should use
the other footman as my second? My love.
1325
01:03:46,300 --> 01:03:47,911
He doesn't even know
how to load a proper pistol,
1326
01:03:47,998 --> 01:03:50,652
let alone the rules of dueling.
[SIGHS]
1327
01:03:50,827 --> 01:03:52,611
No, as much as it pains me,
1328
01:03:52,785 --> 01:03:56,180
you'll be foolish to select
anyone other than Mr Bennett.
1329
01:03:56,571 --> 01:03:58,704
But then we'd have
to invite him to the dinner.
1330
01:03:58,835 --> 01:04:01,228
Well, it's the lesser of evils,
given the circumstances.
1331
01:04:01,359 --> 01:04:03,448
[SIR CHAUNCEY SIGHS]
Besides, no one else has confirmed yet.
1332
01:04:03,883 --> 01:04:05,058
How is your foot, my love?
1333
01:04:05,929 --> 01:04:07,539
The leeches have helped.
1334
01:04:08,888 --> 01:04:09,976
Why...
1335
01:04:10,498 --> 01:04:12,936
Why did you have
to fornicate with him?
1336
01:04:13,023 --> 01:04:15,590
[PERKY TUNE PLAYING]
1337
01:04:15,764 --> 01:04:17,723
SIR CHAUNCEY: Why now?
[BOTH KISS]
1338
01:04:17,854 --> 01:04:19,943
Erm, well, it's actually
been going on for quite a while,
1339
01:04:20,073 --> 01:04:21,640
but that's neither here
nor there.
1340
01:04:21,770 --> 01:04:23,642
Why did you
have to demand satisfaction?
1341
01:04:23,729 --> 01:04:25,513
I had no choice.
I'm a gentleman!
1342
01:04:25,600 --> 01:04:26,863
Oh! Well, you've picked
a funny time
1343
01:04:26,950 --> 01:04:28,081
to start acting like one.
1344
01:04:28,908 --> 01:04:30,301
I beg you. I beg you, my love.
1345
01:04:30,431 --> 01:04:32,216
Please don't go
through with this. I must.
1346
01:04:32,303 --> 01:04:35,132
But why? Why can't it wait
until after the dinner?
1347
01:04:35,219 --> 01:04:36,568
[GRUNTS] I can't have him
1348
01:04:36,655 --> 01:04:38,265
serving the Duke and Duchess
in front of me.
1349
01:04:38,396 --> 01:04:39,484
It'll be humiliating.
1350
01:04:39,658 --> 01:04:41,181
LADY SAVAGE: But no one
will know. I'll know.
1351
01:04:41,268 --> 01:04:42,922
But it's suicide.
1352
01:04:43,053 --> 01:04:44,750
[CLICKS TONGUE] I need not
remind you of all people
1353
01:04:44,837 --> 01:04:46,621
that Reginald
is a marvelous shot.
1354
01:04:46,708 --> 01:04:50,016
Not to mention
the blatant hypocrisy of it all. What? Hypocrisy?
1355
01:04:50,147 --> 01:04:52,149
I was simply trying
to make you jealous
1356
01:04:52,279 --> 01:04:53,498
and have a little fun.
1357
01:04:54,064 --> 01:04:55,892
Whereas you, my darling,
have a plethora of lovers,
1358
01:04:55,979 --> 01:04:58,895
including my own Lady's maid.
But I'm allowed to, I'm a man.
1359
01:04:59,460 --> 01:05:01,941
Whereas you, my love,
however glorious, are a woman.
1360
01:05:02,028 --> 01:05:03,595
By law, my property.
1361
01:05:03,725 --> 01:05:06,250
Oh! I'm well aware, husband.
1362
01:05:06,380 --> 01:05:08,295
But everything that you own
has been handed down
1363
01:05:08,382 --> 01:05:11,646
and procured through my family.
So, let's not mince words.
1364
01:05:12,038 --> 01:05:14,998
It's hypocrisy
of the highest order. I never knew you cared.
1365
01:05:15,868 --> 01:05:18,523
You're my husband.
Of course I do.
1366
01:05:18,653 --> 01:05:20,133
But you never said a word.
1367
01:05:21,221 --> 01:05:22,570
A wife doesn't.
[SIR CHAUNCEY SIGHS]
1368
01:05:23,093 --> 01:05:26,531
Well, I can't go back now.
It's too late.
1369
01:05:27,619 --> 01:05:30,361
I'll look weak
and indecisive. [KISSES]
1370
01:05:30,665 --> 01:05:32,754
[GROANING] Oh. Oh!
1371
01:05:33,146 --> 01:05:35,366
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
DOROTHY: [WHISPERS] Hurry!
1372
01:05:41,546 --> 01:05:43,940
This wasn't the plan.
How could you be so careless?
1373
01:05:44,027 --> 01:05:45,898
Everything's
under control, my love.
1374
01:05:45,985 --> 01:05:47,813
The man couldn't shoot
a tree in a forest.
1375
01:05:48,335 --> 01:05:51,382
This is our moment.
Trust me. [KISSES]
1376
01:05:54,298 --> 01:05:55,386
Hmm?
1377
01:05:56,126 --> 01:05:58,519
SIR CHAUNCEY: Everyone knows
there's a vast chasm
1378
01:05:58,606 --> 01:06:00,304
in our ability of shot.
MR BENNETT: Mm-hmm.
1379
01:06:00,391 --> 01:06:02,480
I'm a far taller target to hit.
1380
01:06:02,741 --> 01:06:05,222
Not to mention,
I have a much bigger head.
1381
01:06:05,309 --> 01:06:08,051
As daunting as it might seem,
you must go through with it.
1382
01:06:08,138 --> 01:06:10,183
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
It's the only noble thing to do.
1383
01:06:10,314 --> 01:06:13,186
You can't be made a cuckold
by your bloody valet!
1384
01:06:13,273 --> 01:06:15,188
I can hear the gossips already.
1385
01:06:15,275 --> 01:06:17,538
It'd be a stain
you'd never be able to rub out.
1386
01:06:17,625 --> 01:06:19,932
You simply must!
Of course. I wouldn't think of it.
1387
01:06:20,106 --> 01:06:23,022
As your second,
I can't help but ask,
1388
01:06:23,283 --> 01:06:25,633
how is our invitation looking?
1389
01:06:25,938 --> 01:06:29,463
Well, there's been an enormous
amount of interest...
1390
01:06:29,550 --> 01:06:31,813
MR BENNETT: Mm-hmm.
...but it simply wouldn't be the same
1391
01:06:32,031 --> 01:06:35,992
without you and Mrs Bennett.
[LAUGHS]
1392
01:06:36,688 --> 01:06:39,299
[GASPS] I can't tell you
how happy this makes me.
1393
01:06:39,734 --> 01:06:42,172
I've heard,
from reliable sources,
1394
01:06:42,259 --> 01:06:45,392
the Duke and Duchess
are quite excited.
1395
01:06:45,479 --> 01:06:47,786
Your wife's wit.
Your keen eye with the cards. [CHUCKLES]
1396
01:06:48,004 --> 01:06:50,441
Oh, it's gonna be
an absolute riot!
1397
01:06:50,528 --> 01:06:51,746
Indeed!
1398
01:06:51,877 --> 01:06:54,358
Look, I know this might sound
crude or indelicate,
1399
01:06:54,445 --> 01:06:58,188
cart-before-horse as 'twere,
but may I... We...
1400
01:06:58,927 --> 01:07:02,148
receive the Duke, if you happen
to perish in the duel?
1401
01:07:02,888 --> 01:07:05,543
What?
You know, just in case.
1402
01:07:05,978 --> 01:07:08,415
As a precautionary measure.
1403
01:07:08,502 --> 01:07:12,332
[QUIRKY TUNE PLAYING]
1404
01:07:13,116 --> 01:07:14,465
[SIR CHAUNCEY GASPS]
1405
01:07:14,639 --> 01:07:16,815
"I hope this finds you well,
1406
01:07:16,989 --> 01:07:18,773
and that you have
a lovely dinner."
1407
01:07:19,252 --> 01:07:22,603
"I also hope to never
see you again. Hans Roos."
1408
01:07:23,169 --> 01:07:24,779
I love the pheasant.
1409
01:07:24,866 --> 01:07:27,391
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIR CHAUNCEY GROANS]
1410
01:07:29,436 --> 01:07:31,482
[COINS JANGLING]
1411
01:07:32,874 --> 01:07:37,053
[DOOR OPENING, CLOSING]
1412
01:07:37,140 --> 01:07:38,358
Did anyone see you?
1413
01:07:39,011 --> 01:07:42,841
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
[INHALES SHARPLY, EXHALES]
1414
01:07:43,668 --> 01:07:46,149
[FIREWOOD CRACKLING]
1415
01:07:50,283 --> 01:07:51,415
[BOTH SMOOCH]
1416
01:07:52,285 --> 01:07:54,157
[COINS JANGLING]
Will this suffice?
1417
01:07:57,943 --> 01:07:59,205
I don't understand.
1418
01:07:59,423 --> 01:08:01,120
For a momentary lapse in shot.
1419
01:08:03,905 --> 01:08:05,168
You want me to spare him?
1420
01:08:06,647 --> 01:08:07,692
Yes.
1421
01:08:08,519 --> 01:08:09,650
Why?
1422
01:08:10,869 --> 01:08:12,566
I c... I can replace him.
1423
01:08:13,785 --> 01:08:16,701
He's a dim and selfish man,
and a poor shot, I know, but...
1424
01:08:16,875 --> 01:08:18,703
I love him.
Do you?
1425
01:08:20,835 --> 01:08:23,099
But you... you are a woman
of profound wisdom and strength.
1426
01:08:23,186 --> 01:08:26,624
He's a petty opportunist
who flogs your lady's maid. Oh...
1427
01:08:28,060 --> 01:08:30,323
I'm readily aware of how we look
from the outside...
1428
01:08:31,846 --> 01:08:33,152
but we love each other...
1429
01:08:34,284 --> 01:08:35,850
in our peculiar way.
1430
01:08:37,156 --> 01:08:39,506
I know of the rumors that
he swindled me for my fortune,
1431
01:08:39,593 --> 01:08:42,553
but that wasn't the case
at all. [INHALES DEEPLY]
1432
01:08:42,727 --> 01:08:43,858
I chose him...
1433
01:08:45,512 --> 01:08:46,557
his ambition...
1434
01:08:47,514 --> 01:08:48,646
his zeal.
1435
01:08:49,429 --> 01:08:52,258
He wasn't some stuffy suitor,
inbred and idle.
1436
01:08:52,345 --> 01:08:54,086
He was... Oh, he was fun.
1437
01:08:55,131 --> 01:08:57,524
Life would be many things,
but it would never be dull.
1438
01:08:57,611 --> 01:08:59,613
I--
No. I refused to marry well
1439
01:08:59,700 --> 01:09:01,441
and find myself
in the enviable position
1440
01:09:01,528 --> 01:09:03,530
of being nothing more
than an elegant rug
1441
01:09:03,617 --> 01:09:05,532
decorating my husband's
drawing room.
1442
01:09:05,619 --> 01:09:07,447
It's a virtuous life, I'm sure.
1443
01:09:07,795 --> 01:09:10,102
Duty over desire.
Obligation over happiness.
1444
01:09:10,189 --> 01:09:11,886
But that's not the life
that I chose to live.
1445
01:09:11,973 --> 01:09:13,192
I chose him.
1446
01:09:14,324 --> 01:09:16,239
And I know this sounds odd,
but I truly believe
1447
01:09:16,326 --> 01:09:18,241
that it's all been leading
to this moment...
1448
01:09:18,763 --> 01:09:19,807
to this dinner.
1449
01:09:21,069 --> 01:09:22,767
And I refuse to let some...
1450
01:09:23,985 --> 01:09:25,335
lustful tryst...
1451
01:09:26,771 --> 01:09:28,512
as pleasurable
as it might have been...
1452
01:09:29,382 --> 01:09:30,470
destroy it.
1453
01:09:36,128 --> 01:09:37,303
Please don't kill him.
1454
01:09:38,870 --> 01:09:41,829
[COINS JANGLING]
1455
01:09:42,526 --> 01:09:43,570
LADY SAVAGE: Please.
1456
01:09:43,875 --> 01:09:47,574
[MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYING]
1457
01:09:51,056 --> 01:09:54,277
[COINS CLATTER]
LADY SAVAGE: Reginald!
1458
01:09:57,323 --> 01:10:01,414
[SIGHS]
[FOOTSTEPS RECEDING]
1459
01:10:07,420 --> 01:10:10,771
REGINALD: Come on, Darby.
[BIRDS SQUAWKING]
1460
01:10:17,343 --> 01:10:18,823
MR BENNETT: Psst!
Hmm?
1461
01:10:24,307 --> 01:10:27,310
Aim for the head, the heart,
the throat. I really don't care.
1462
01:10:27,397 --> 01:10:28,485
But shoot straight
1463
01:10:28,615 --> 01:10:30,443
and you'll have
a handsome promotion
1464
01:10:30,574 --> 01:10:33,272
on the other side.
Why is everyone trying to bribe me?
1465
01:10:33,359 --> 01:10:35,622
I've heard tales
of your marksmanship
1466
01:10:35,709 --> 01:10:37,058
and dubious dealings.
1467
01:10:38,190 --> 01:10:40,236
You're a killer, my boy.
1468
01:10:40,627 --> 01:10:44,805
I assure you,
your compensation is kind.
1469
01:10:52,683 --> 01:10:56,687
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
1470
01:10:59,907 --> 01:11:02,083
LADY SAVAGE: At least wear
your spectacles.
1471
01:11:02,301 --> 01:11:04,172
They make me look
bookish and fat.
1472
01:11:04,782 --> 01:11:06,174
If I'm going to die...
1473
01:11:06,262 --> 01:11:08,481
I'm going to look bloody good
while doing it.
1474
01:11:08,612 --> 01:11:09,787
[MOUTHS] I love you.
1475
01:11:10,701 --> 01:11:11,789
[SMOOCHES]
1476
01:11:13,225 --> 01:11:15,009
I'm sorry I was so cruel
the other night.
1477
01:11:15,096 --> 01:11:16,272
I wasn't myself.
1478
01:11:17,447 --> 01:11:18,752
I love you, you know.
1479
01:11:20,145 --> 01:11:22,800
More than anything
in the whole world. [GASPS, SNIFFLES]
1480
01:11:22,930 --> 01:11:24,976
And I'm not just saying that
because I'm at death's door.
1481
01:11:25,063 --> 01:11:27,848
[KISSES]
[FANNY GASPS]
1482
01:11:29,154 --> 01:11:31,504
[GASPS, SOBS]
1483
01:11:34,115 --> 01:11:35,378
[SOBS]
1484
01:11:35,465 --> 01:11:38,294
[CROWS CAWING]
1485
01:11:47,259 --> 01:11:49,087
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
SIR CHAUNCEY: How could you?
1486
01:11:49,217 --> 01:11:51,611
You've put me
in an impossible position.
1487
01:11:51,785 --> 01:11:53,570
It was you who demanded
satisfaction, sir.
1488
01:11:53,657 --> 01:11:56,486
Let's not point fingers.
REGINALD: I'm sorry, sir.
1489
01:11:56,616 --> 01:11:59,402
[PANTS] Perhaps we can
resolve this matter
1490
01:11:59,532 --> 01:12:02,056
by merely nicking one another
in a fleshy thigh
1491
01:12:02,143 --> 01:12:04,407
or... or-- Er. Losing a pinkie?
1492
01:12:04,668 --> 01:12:06,931
No one need lose their life
this evening.
1493
01:12:07,018 --> 01:12:10,021
MR BENNETT:
We're nearly there, gentlemen. [EXCLAIMS, GASPS]
1494
01:12:13,372 --> 01:12:15,113
I love duels.
1495
01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:19,291
["STABAT MATER"
BY SCHUBERT PLAYING]
1496
01:12:22,860 --> 01:12:25,993
Sir Chauncey, as the assailed,
1497
01:12:26,124 --> 01:12:29,083
you may call.
Heads.
1498
01:12:33,436 --> 01:12:35,046
[COIN CLINKING]
1499
01:12:35,786 --> 01:12:37,875
Heads it is.
[EXHALES SHAKILY]
1500
01:12:38,005 --> 01:12:39,398
MR BENNETT: Sir Chauncey
has won the toss
1501
01:12:39,485 --> 01:12:40,573
and shall fire first.
1502
01:12:41,792 --> 01:12:44,708
Mr Halifax,
you must stand your ground.
1503
01:12:45,926 --> 01:12:46,927
Gentlemen...
1504
01:12:49,626 --> 01:12:52,106
ten paces.
[SHUDDERS]
1505
01:12:54,195 --> 01:12:56,110
One, two,
1506
01:12:56,633 --> 01:12:58,243
three, four,
1507
01:12:58,678 --> 01:13:01,725
five, six, seven, eight,
1508
01:13:02,160 --> 01:13:03,901
nine, ten.
1509
01:13:07,861 --> 01:13:11,212
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
1510
01:13:13,258 --> 01:13:16,348
[CHOIR SINGING]
1511
01:13:23,834 --> 01:13:26,053
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
1512
01:13:27,011 --> 01:13:28,273
[MOUTHS] I'm sorry.
1513
01:13:34,322 --> 01:13:36,150
[SCOFFS] It was the wind.
1514
01:13:36,324 --> 01:13:38,109
Didn't you feel
that gust of wind?
1515
01:13:38,501 --> 01:13:40,633
Mr Bennett,
there must be a technicality
1516
01:13:40,720 --> 01:13:41,634
for such an occurrence.
1517
01:13:41,808 --> 01:13:43,680
I should have another shot,
shouldn't I?
1518
01:13:43,854 --> 01:13:45,246
MR BENNETT: Sir Chauncey,
I'm afraid...
1519
01:13:45,943 --> 01:13:48,902
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
...you must stand your ground and receive Mr Halifax's fire.
1520
01:13:49,599 --> 01:13:52,863
Then, and only then,
may you return shot.
1521
01:13:56,214 --> 01:13:59,826
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
1522
01:14:03,351 --> 01:14:06,746
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
1523
01:14:23,589 --> 01:14:27,593
SIR CHAUNCEY: [GROANS] You fuck!
1524
01:14:28,115 --> 01:14:31,292
Fuck! [SOBS]
1525
01:14:31,728 --> 01:14:32,772
Fuck!
1526
01:14:33,730 --> 01:14:36,167
Have you received satisfaction?
1527
01:14:36,254 --> 01:14:39,387
Do I look fucking satisfied,
you insipid bore?
1528
01:14:39,475 --> 01:14:44,741
Jesus! [SCREAMS, GROANS]
1529
01:14:45,393 --> 01:14:48,396
[COUGHS] I thought
you were just gonna nick me.
1530
01:14:48,527 --> 01:14:50,703
You nearly ripped
my bloody arm off!
1531
01:14:50,834 --> 01:14:52,792
Well, you challenged me
to a duel, sir.
1532
01:14:52,879 --> 01:14:54,838
You should be grateful
I didn't rip your head off.
1533
01:14:54,925 --> 01:14:57,493
You ungrateful little cunt!
1534
01:14:57,580 --> 01:15:01,801
Gentlemen, you must stand
your ground once more.
1535
01:15:02,454 --> 01:15:06,502
Sir Chauncey, it is your turn
to return fire.
1536
01:15:10,636 --> 01:15:14,422
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
1537
01:15:16,947 --> 01:15:17,904
[MOANS]
1538
01:15:20,733 --> 01:15:22,300
[MOANS, GASPS]
1539
01:15:32,136 --> 01:15:33,529
[GUNSHOT]
[REGINALD GROANS]
1540
01:15:33,920 --> 01:15:36,140
Allez au diable!
1541
01:15:36,880 --> 01:15:39,012
Allez au diable!
1542
01:15:39,535 --> 01:15:40,927
[GUNSHOT]
1543
01:15:42,581 --> 01:15:45,062
[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
MR BENNETT: [IN ENGLISH] Get the doctor!
1544
01:15:45,453 --> 01:15:46,585
[COUGHS]
1545
01:15:46,890 --> 01:15:48,761
NARRATOR: Even though
the shot was sheer luck,
1546
01:15:48,848 --> 01:15:50,894
Chauncey was consumed
with guilt.
1547
01:15:51,590 --> 01:15:53,636
It ate away at his gut
like hemlock.
1548
01:15:53,723 --> 01:15:56,334
[GASPS, BREATHES HEAVILY]
MR BENNETT: Get the doctor!
1549
01:15:57,291 --> 01:15:59,990
NARRATOR: In the end,
Reginald Halifax perished
1550
01:16:00,164 --> 01:16:02,775
in the very place
he had been birthed.
1551
01:16:03,167 --> 01:16:04,385
In the muck.
1552
01:16:05,386 --> 01:16:06,997
Good shot, old boy.
1553
01:16:09,956 --> 01:16:11,784
What time should we arrive
for dinner?
1554
01:16:11,871 --> 01:16:15,005
[UNSETTLING MUSIC PLAYING]
1555
01:16:15,179 --> 01:16:19,096
[SIR CHAUNCEY
GROANING, WHIMPERING]
1556
01:16:19,575 --> 01:16:22,229
Make sure you leave enough
for the... for the head there.
1557
01:16:22,316 --> 01:16:23,404
Sir.
1558
01:16:23,535 --> 01:16:25,972
[SIR CHAUNCEY GROANS]
1559
01:16:26,320 --> 01:16:30,760
I'm certain you will not listen,
but you must not drink...
1560
01:16:30,847 --> 01:16:35,025
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
...for it thins the blood, and your wound is deep.
1561
01:16:35,112 --> 01:16:36,287
Do you understand?
1562
01:16:36,417 --> 01:16:39,595
[SIR CHAUNCEY GROANS,
BREATHES HEAVILY]
1563
01:16:40,552 --> 01:16:43,773
[UNSETTLING MUSIC CONTINUES]
1564
01:16:47,777 --> 01:16:48,821
[SIR CHAUNCEY GRUNTS]
1565
01:16:59,615 --> 01:17:02,530
[GRUNTS, WHIMPERS]
1566
01:17:07,013 --> 01:17:10,016
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
1567
01:17:19,547 --> 01:17:23,726
[COUGHS, GROANS]
[LADY SAVAGE GASPS]
1568
01:17:24,030 --> 01:17:25,858
[CHUCKLING] Oh, you're alive!
1569
01:17:25,945 --> 01:17:28,644
[GASPS, GROANS]
Gentler, darling. LADY SAVAGE: Oh! [GASPS]
1570
01:17:28,948 --> 01:17:31,081
My arm is shattered.
Oh, I'm sorry, my love.
1571
01:17:31,647 --> 01:17:32,822
Er. Where's Reginald?
1572
01:17:33,083 --> 01:17:35,912
I flayed him on the battlefield.
Took his head right off.
1573
01:17:35,999 --> 01:17:36,956
[SCOFFS] What?
1574
01:17:37,174 --> 01:17:38,828
SIR CHAUNCEY:
Why do you look so surprised?
1575
01:17:39,916 --> 01:17:42,005
Is it he you wish
returned in victory?
1576
01:17:42,092 --> 01:17:43,571
Er. No, no, no.
I-- I-- I don't--
1577
01:17:43,659 --> 01:17:45,835
Let's not overdo it now.
Better him than me.
1578
01:17:45,922 --> 01:17:47,880
I'm your husband.
No, shut up! He's...
1579
01:17:47,967 --> 01:17:49,621
SIR CHAUNCEY: Dead? It's true.
1580
01:17:49,708 --> 01:17:52,406
He's currently lying headless
in a ditch near the pond.
1581
01:17:52,493 --> 01:17:53,494
[DOROTHY GASPS]
1582
01:17:54,104 --> 01:17:56,062
[SIR CHAUNCEY SCOFFS]
1583
01:17:57,107 --> 01:18:00,588
I'm sorry to be so blunt,
but what's done is done.
1584
01:18:00,676 --> 01:18:01,894
[GASPS]
SIR CHAUNCEY: He was a good friend,
1585
01:18:01,981 --> 01:18:04,984
excluding the incidents
where he sullied my wife.
1586
01:18:05,071 --> 01:18:08,858
Nonetheless,
he'll be missed. [GROANS] [GASPS, BREATHES SHAKILY]
1587
01:18:09,293 --> 01:18:12,862
I know I've been a wretched fool
these past few days, but...
1588
01:18:13,297 --> 01:18:16,387
you've all done a remarkable job
with the place.
1589
01:18:16,517 --> 01:18:20,870
Now, fetch a bottle of bubbly
so we can celebrate. Chop chop.
1590
01:18:21,000 --> 01:18:25,178
[MENACING MUSIC PLAYING]
[GULPS]
1591
01:18:25,309 --> 01:18:26,789
[SINGS] ♪ One, two, three
One, two, three ♪
1592
01:18:26,876 --> 01:18:28,616
♪ The Duke and Duchess
Are coming for dinner ♪
1593
01:18:28,704 --> 01:18:30,749
♪ The Duke and Duchess
Are coming for dinner ♪ LADY SAVAGE: Darling.
1594
01:18:30,836 --> 01:18:32,446
♪ The Duke and Duchess
Are coming for dinner ♪
1595
01:18:32,751 --> 01:18:34,666
♪ The Duke and Duchess
Are coming for dinner ♪ LADY SAVAGE: Calm down.
1596
01:18:34,753 --> 01:18:36,624
♪ The Duke and Duchess
Are coming for dinner ♪
1597
01:18:36,712 --> 01:18:38,583
LADY SAVAGE:
Chauncey, darling, stop. ♪ Darby, Darby, Darby, dah! ♪
1598
01:18:38,670 --> 01:18:40,498
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
♪ The Duke and Duchess Are coming for dinner ♪
1599
01:18:40,628 --> 01:18:42,587
♪ The Duke and Duchess
Are coming for dinner ♪ [LADY SAVAGE YELPS]
1600
01:18:42,718 --> 01:18:44,328
♪ The Duke and Duchess
Are coming for dinner ♪
1601
01:18:44,458 --> 01:18:46,417
♪ The Duke and Duchess
Are coming for dinner ♪ [LADY SAVAGE YELPS]
1602
01:18:46,504 --> 01:18:48,332
♪ The Duke and Duchess
Are coming for dinner ♪ [WHIMPERS]
1603
01:18:48,419 --> 01:18:50,421
♪ The Duke and Duchess
Are coming for dinner ♪
1604
01:18:50,508 --> 01:18:52,249
♪ The Duke and Duchess
Are coming for dinner ♪
1605
01:18:52,510 --> 01:18:54,468
♪ The Duke and Duchess
Are coming for dinner ♪ LADY SAVAGE: Stop, darling.
1606
01:18:54,555 --> 01:18:55,600
♪ The Duke and Duchess... ♪
1607
01:18:55,687 --> 01:18:56,732
LADY SAVAGE:
You're scaring me. Stop.
1608
01:18:56,949 --> 01:18:58,472
♪ The Duke and Duchess
Are coming for dinner ♪
1609
01:18:58,559 --> 01:19:00,387
♪ The Duke and Duchess
Are coming for dinner ♪
1610
01:19:00,474 --> 01:19:02,825
♪ The Duke and Duchess
Are coming for dinner! ♪
1611
01:19:02,912 --> 01:19:05,175
[PANTS]
1612
01:19:12,051 --> 01:19:13,661
[MUSIC FADES ABRUPTLY]
1613
01:19:15,185 --> 01:19:18,188
[CROWS CAWING]
1614
01:19:24,542 --> 01:19:28,633
[WATER SLOSHING]
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]
1615
01:19:32,985 --> 01:19:34,552
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
1616
01:19:35,248 --> 01:19:36,119
[YELPS]
1617
01:19:40,123 --> 01:19:43,779
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
1618
01:19:45,476 --> 01:19:49,045
[SCREAMS, MUFFLED]
1619
01:19:49,132 --> 01:19:53,353
[HUFFS, BREATHES HEAVILY]
1620
01:19:53,745 --> 01:19:57,096
[MICE SQUEAKING]
1621
01:20:05,104 --> 01:20:07,628
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
1622
01:20:08,978 --> 01:20:12,068
[GASPS, BREATHES DEEPLY]
1623
01:20:12,851 --> 01:20:15,723
[CROWS CAWING]
1624
01:20:22,861 --> 01:20:24,036
[GROANS]
1625
01:20:26,343 --> 01:20:28,475
[INHALES SHARPLY, GROANS]
1626
01:20:28,562 --> 01:20:33,829
[HISSES, GROANS,
BREATHES DEEPLY]
1627
01:20:34,612 --> 01:20:37,049
Reginald! Reginald!
Come and see!
1628
01:20:37,745 --> 01:20:39,965
[BELL RINGING]
1629
01:20:40,270 --> 01:20:41,401
Oh, shit!
1630
01:20:41,924 --> 01:20:44,622
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
Right. Of course.
1631
01:20:44,752 --> 01:20:46,754
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
1632
01:20:49,932 --> 01:20:53,674
[GROANS] That's odd.
[INHALES, RETCHES]
1633
01:20:54,066 --> 01:20:56,242
[COINS JANGLING]
1634
01:20:56,460 --> 01:20:58,854
[FIREWOOD CRACKLING]
1635
01:21:00,420 --> 01:21:01,508
[DOOR OPENING
1636
01:21:04,772 --> 01:21:06,296
[DOOR CLOSING]
1637
01:21:14,739 --> 01:21:16,828
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
[DOOR OPENING]
1638
01:21:17,133 --> 01:21:18,786
[MUSIC FADES ABRUPTLY]
SIR CHAUNCEY: Darling...
1639
01:21:18,874 --> 01:21:22,268
[PANTS] Does this
look a little funny?
1640
01:21:22,355 --> 01:21:25,750
[RETCHES] My love,
it's gangrenous.
1641
01:21:26,142 --> 01:21:27,708
You need to see
a doctor immediately.
1642
01:21:27,795 --> 01:21:30,494
It's nothing, really.
[PANTING] Just a little burn.
1643
01:21:30,581 --> 01:21:32,670
There's too much to do
for the dinner this evening.
1644
01:21:32,931 --> 01:21:34,541
Has this all been worth it?
1645
01:21:34,933 --> 01:21:37,936
Digging ourselves into ruin,
felling your best friend,
1646
01:21:38,023 --> 01:21:39,764
your gout,
and your gangrenous arm?
1647
01:21:39,851 --> 01:21:42,985
This is the only thing
I was ever really good at.
1648
01:21:43,202 --> 01:21:46,336
And with you, my love,
I found my partner in crime.
1649
01:21:46,727 --> 01:21:49,339
This is my chance
to finally prove that I belong.
1650
01:21:49,426 --> 01:21:51,950
[RETCHES]
You do belong, my love.
1651
01:21:52,081 --> 01:21:53,996
We both know
I carry the odious stench
1652
01:21:54,083 --> 01:21:55,214
of an outsider.
1653
01:21:55,301 --> 01:21:58,304
One that no perfume,
however floral,
1654
01:21:58,391 --> 01:22:00,219
can eradicate or quell.
1655
01:22:00,306 --> 01:22:01,438
LADY SAVAGE:
[CLICKS TONGUE, SIGHS] Oh.
1656
01:22:01,525 --> 01:22:03,657
It's not how you were born,
1657
01:22:04,223 --> 01:22:07,183
it's how you live that shows
the depth of your character.
1658
01:22:07,270 --> 01:22:09,620
[SIR CHAUNCEY GASPS]
[BOTH SMOOCH]
1659
01:22:09,707 --> 01:22:10,838
[INHALES]
1660
01:22:11,622 --> 01:22:13,363
Tonight's going to be perfect.
[LADY SAVAGE RETCHES]
1661
01:22:13,493 --> 01:22:15,495
I promise. [INHALES, SNIFFS]
1662
01:22:15,756 --> 01:22:16,975
Is that the arm?
Mm. Mm.
1663
01:22:17,062 --> 01:22:19,195
SIR CHAUNCEY:
I'll have it re-wrapped. Er...
1664
01:22:19,369 --> 01:22:22,372
SIR CHAUNCEY: Excuse me.
Shit! It fucking stinks!
1665
01:22:22,459 --> 01:22:25,157
[RETCHES, GASPS]
[DOOR CLOSING]
1666
01:22:25,244 --> 01:22:26,158
[CLICKS TONGUE]
1667
01:22:31,250 --> 01:22:33,687
[FLIES BUZZING]
SIR CHAUNCEY: [PANTING] Ooh!
1668
01:22:38,214 --> 01:22:39,302
[GRUNTS, PANTS]
1669
01:22:39,432 --> 01:22:42,435
[HOOVES CLOMPING]
[HORSES NEIGHING]
1670
01:22:47,440 --> 01:22:48,528
[HORSES SNORTING]
1671
01:22:52,402 --> 01:22:55,057
["DON GIOVANNI OVERTURE"]
BY MOZART PLAYING] [HORSE WHINES]
1672
01:22:57,450 --> 01:23:00,279
[GASPS] Shit!
1673
01:23:01,846 --> 01:23:05,502
Mr Black,
how dear of you to visit!
1674
01:23:05,676 --> 01:23:08,896
Mr Loughton, it's been too long!
1675
01:23:09,810 --> 01:23:13,336
Officer, what... what seems
to be the problem?
1676
01:23:13,510 --> 01:23:15,773
Don't play aloof
with me, Savage.
1677
01:23:15,860 --> 01:23:17,775
Your shameful trickery is over.
1678
01:23:17,862 --> 01:23:19,342
We have a warrant
for your arrest.
1679
01:23:19,429 --> 01:23:20,952
[CHUCKLING] Trickery? Arrest?
1680
01:23:21,039 --> 01:23:23,172
MR BLACK: I see your pox
has healed well. Indeed.
1681
01:23:23,259 --> 01:23:24,782
MR BLACK: Hamburg, was it?
Hmm?
1682
01:23:24,912 --> 01:23:26,610
The West Indies, perhaps?
Your valet...
1683
01:23:26,740 --> 01:23:29,308
Ah, I see. My valet.
1684
01:23:29,569 --> 01:23:31,615
Course. I thought
this might concern him.
1685
01:23:31,745 --> 01:23:33,051
Concern him?
1686
01:23:33,138 --> 01:23:34,618
There's been
a grave misunderstanding.
1687
01:23:34,705 --> 01:23:38,839
You see, my valet, Mr Halifax,
apparently was running
1688
01:23:38,926 --> 01:23:40,972
a duplicitous scheme
to fleece my family
1689
01:23:41,059 --> 01:23:43,801
and trusted associates,
such as these fine men.
1690
01:23:43,888 --> 01:23:46,630
Poppycock! The man's a liar
and a scoundrel.
1691
01:23:46,934 --> 01:23:48,675
Sir, sir, now where might
we find this Mr Halifax?
1692
01:23:48,806 --> 01:23:51,026
Reginald Stanley Halifax.
1693
01:23:51,113 --> 01:23:52,853
Unfortunately,
he fled in the night
1694
01:23:52,940 --> 01:23:53,898
after I confronted him.
1695
01:23:54,072 --> 01:23:55,291
I'd like to file a report
at once.
1696
01:23:55,421 --> 01:23:56,422
Oh, of course.
1697
01:23:56,683 --> 01:23:59,121
This is ludicrous!
I don't believe a word of it.
1698
01:23:59,251 --> 01:24:01,427
Er. What are your plans
for this evening, gentlemen?
1699
01:24:01,558 --> 01:24:02,820
I beg your pardon?
1700
01:24:02,950 --> 01:24:04,822
We're receiving the Duke
and Duchess of Devonshire
1701
01:24:04,909 --> 01:24:06,780
for dinner, and thought
you might like to attend.
1702
01:24:07,390 --> 01:24:09,218
We can discuss
this sordid little affair
1703
01:24:09,305 --> 01:24:11,133
over a good bottle of wine,
like gentlemen.
1704
01:24:12,351 --> 01:24:14,397
Really? The Duke and Duchess
of Devonshire? Tonight?
1705
01:24:15,006 --> 01:24:16,138
It's settled then?
1706
01:24:17,400 --> 01:24:20,055
We'd be honored. Honored.
1707
01:24:20,229 --> 01:24:21,752
After poor Leslie's
disappearance
1708
01:24:21,882 --> 01:24:23,232
and Reginald's death,
1709
01:24:23,319 --> 01:24:25,973
it seems you are now
my longest-tenured footman.
1710
01:24:26,496 --> 01:24:28,846
And thus, promoted to valet.
Congratulations.
1711
01:24:28,933 --> 01:24:29,847
Thank you, sir.
1712
01:24:30,195 --> 01:24:32,415
Oh. Considering your
predecessor's digressions,
1713
01:24:32,719 --> 01:24:34,939
I thought it best
to lay some ground rules.
1714
01:24:35,026 --> 01:24:37,768
Namely, do not fuck my wife!
1715
01:24:37,898 --> 01:24:38,899
'Course, sir.
1716
01:24:38,986 --> 01:24:40,031
SIR CHAUNCEY:
You have risen quick
1717
01:24:40,162 --> 01:24:41,424
due to miraculous circumstance.
1718
01:24:41,598 --> 01:24:43,817
You and I are not dissimilar.
What's your name again?
1719
01:24:43,948 --> 01:24:45,819
James, sir. James Darby.
SIR CHAUNCEY: Right, right.
1720
01:24:45,950 --> 01:24:47,430
Strong name. Now...
1721
01:24:47,517 --> 01:24:49,345
we need to find
two replacements, quick,
1722
01:24:49,432 --> 01:24:50,520
for this evening's dinner.
1723
01:24:50,650 --> 01:24:52,391
We don't have much time.
DARBY: Course, sir.
1724
01:24:55,177 --> 01:24:58,658
SIR CHAUNCEY: Darby,
do you smell that? DARBY: Smell what, sir?
1725
01:24:58,832 --> 01:25:01,357
Oh, never mind. [GASPS]
1726
01:25:01,531 --> 01:25:05,187
Look at those two fine men.
Stop! Stop at once! [HORSE NEIGHING]
1727
01:25:06,405 --> 01:25:07,537
[SIR CHAUNCEY WHISTLES]
1728
01:25:08,059 --> 01:25:11,454
Yes, you two.
You're not Jacobites, are you?
1729
01:25:11,845 --> 01:25:14,935
Do you have all your limbs?
Including fingers?
1730
01:25:15,022 --> 01:25:17,808
Show me. Come closer.
[BOTH WHIMPER]
1731
01:25:18,765 --> 01:25:20,550
How about your teeth? Top?
1732
01:25:21,072 --> 01:25:22,073
Bottom?
[GRUNTS SOFTLY]
1733
01:25:22,204 --> 01:25:24,031
Mm, good enough. Splendid.
1734
01:25:24,162 --> 01:25:26,556
I don't like the look of them.
SIR CHAUNCEY: Behave, Darby.
1735
01:25:26,773 --> 01:25:28,384
You didn't look much better
when I first found you.
1736
01:25:28,514 --> 01:25:30,212
What about the eye-patch, sir?
1737
01:25:30,342 --> 01:25:32,083
Oh, I quite like it. Nice touch.
1738
01:25:32,214 --> 01:25:34,129
War wound
from the battlefield, eh?
1739
01:25:34,477 --> 01:25:35,913
Syphilis, sir.
1740
01:25:36,000 --> 01:25:38,176
Well, looks heroic, nonetheless.
1741
01:25:38,263 --> 01:25:41,397
I've been looking for two
fine men such as yourselves.
1742
01:25:41,701 --> 01:25:43,834
I'd like to offer you each
a decent job
1743
01:25:43,921 --> 01:25:45,488
and meal for the evening.
1744
01:25:46,184 --> 01:25:48,447
Deal?
[LAUGHS]
1745
01:25:49,100 --> 01:25:50,145
Excellent!
1746
01:25:51,233 --> 01:25:52,669
Tally-ho! Trot on.
1747
01:25:52,756 --> 01:25:53,931
[SHUDDERS]
1748
01:25:54,018 --> 01:25:55,889
This is the only warning
you're gonna get,
1749
01:25:55,976 --> 01:25:57,064
so heed it well.
1750
01:25:57,239 --> 01:26:00,764
Do not take advantage
of Sir Savage's charity.
1751
01:26:00,938 --> 01:26:03,375
He may be a kind
and magnanimous man,
1752
01:26:03,506 --> 01:26:06,596
but I can assure you I am not.
1753
01:26:06,770 --> 01:26:08,989
Tonight is of great importance.
1754
01:26:09,076 --> 01:26:11,514
No mistakes will be tolerated.
1755
01:26:11,601 --> 01:26:13,124
Am I understood?
1756
01:26:13,385 --> 01:26:15,692
[EXHALES]
Good. Now clean up.
1757
01:26:16,171 --> 01:26:18,477
[FOOTMAN GROANS]
And scrub hard or I'll do it for you.
1758
01:26:18,564 --> 01:26:19,870
[SNIFFS, GRUMBLES]
1759
01:26:22,089 --> 01:26:23,090
[SIGHS]
1760
01:26:26,181 --> 01:26:27,530
LADY SAVAGE: This is it.
1761
01:26:27,965 --> 01:26:31,882
The reason and reflection
for all our tireless work.
1762
01:26:33,362 --> 01:26:35,712
The Duke and Duchess
shall be joining us
1763
01:26:35,799 --> 01:26:36,756
for dinner this evening.
1764
01:26:37,714 --> 01:26:39,194
So, let's be our very best.
1765
01:26:41,326 --> 01:26:42,936
When one looks back on one's...
1766
01:26:44,024 --> 01:26:47,506
tedious,
and often aimless life...
1767
01:26:47,593 --> 01:26:49,595
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
1768
01:26:49,682 --> 01:26:51,858
...these are the days,
1769
01:26:53,033 --> 01:26:55,819
the moments,
that one shall remember.
1770
01:26:57,473 --> 01:27:00,432
[BREATHES DEEPLY] So, chop chop.
1771
01:27:00,911 --> 01:27:05,089
[BREATHES SHARPLY]
[DOOR OPENING]
1772
01:27:05,176 --> 01:27:07,178
SIR CHAUNCEY: Couldn't have
said it better myself.
1773
01:27:07,265 --> 01:27:08,179
[EXHALES]
1774
01:27:08,788 --> 01:27:10,225
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
LADY SAVAGE: Everything all right?
1775
01:27:10,312 --> 01:27:11,791
SIR CHAUNCEY:
Oh, it's perfection.
1776
01:27:11,878 --> 01:27:12,792
LADY SAVAGE: [SIGHS] Good.
1777
01:27:13,706 --> 01:27:16,274
NARRATOR: Unknowingly,
and rather ironically,
1778
01:27:16,405 --> 01:27:19,538
Chauncey had invited
two Jacobites into his home.
1779
01:27:19,669 --> 01:27:21,888
They weren't especially
politically minded,
1780
01:27:21,975 --> 01:27:24,674
but they did, however,
enjoy their looting
1781
01:27:24,804 --> 01:27:26,415
and occasional pillaging.
[DRAWER OPENING]
1782
01:27:26,502 --> 01:27:27,851
Down with the rump.
1783
01:27:28,765 --> 01:27:30,854
[CLOCK TICKING]
1784
01:27:31,028 --> 01:27:32,682
NARRATOR:
And to make matters worse,
1785
01:27:32,769 --> 01:27:36,251
Mr Darby had discovered
an unfortunate bout of the pox.
1786
01:27:36,338 --> 01:27:38,818
He knew full well
the potential ramifications.
1787
01:27:38,905 --> 01:27:39,993
Losing his life,
1788
01:27:40,080 --> 01:27:42,213
infecting
his charitable employers,
1789
01:27:42,300 --> 01:27:44,302
perhaps even
the Duke and Duchess,
1790
01:27:44,389 --> 01:27:47,827
but feared losing
his stately new post as valet.
1791
01:27:48,263 --> 01:27:50,221
He wasn't about to let
this opportunity
1792
01:27:50,308 --> 01:27:53,659
slip through his fingers,
or fingernails, for that matter. [SNIFFS]
1793
01:27:53,790 --> 01:27:56,053
[CUTLERY CLINKING]
1794
01:27:56,183 --> 01:27:58,229
NARRATOR: However miraculous
or inevitable,
1795
01:27:59,056 --> 01:28:02,668
Jacobites and the pox
had infiltrated Savage House
1796
01:28:02,755 --> 01:28:04,627
without anyone being the wiser.
1797
01:28:06,933 --> 01:28:08,935
Underneath its shimmering shell,
1798
01:28:09,022 --> 01:28:11,503
a darkness had slipped
through the cracks.
1799
01:28:11,808 --> 01:28:15,028
[SINISTER MUSIC PLAYING]
1800
01:28:15,942 --> 01:28:18,075
NARRATOR: In the words
of Mrs Bennett,
1801
01:28:18,162 --> 01:28:19,685
"Evil was afoot."
1802
01:28:20,077 --> 01:28:23,950
["MUSIC ON THE DEATH OF
QUEEN MARY" BY PURCELL PLAYING]
1803
01:28:24,037 --> 01:28:27,214
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
1804
01:28:31,044 --> 01:28:35,222
[GASPS, BREATHES HEAVILY]
1805
01:28:38,443 --> 01:28:40,663
And do you swallow
the swords as well?
1806
01:28:40,750 --> 01:28:42,621
FANNY: Papa, it's...
it's coming!
1807
01:28:42,969 --> 01:28:45,798
It's coming!
Mama, Papa, it's... it's coming!
1808
01:28:45,885 --> 01:28:51,326
[BREATHES HEAVILY, CHUCKLES]
1809
01:28:59,290 --> 01:29:02,206
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
1810
01:29:43,160 --> 01:29:45,989
[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
1811
01:29:48,557 --> 01:29:52,387
[MICE SQUEAKING]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
1812
01:30:13,625 --> 01:30:16,411
What the... [GASPS]
1813
01:30:17,542 --> 01:30:19,109
What the hell?
1814
01:30:30,599 --> 01:30:33,819
[GROANS]
1815
01:30:34,298 --> 01:30:35,299
Darling.
1816
01:30:35,517 --> 01:30:37,170
Hmm?
Get the doctor.
1817
01:30:37,606 --> 01:30:39,129
What? [GASPS]
1818
01:30:39,346 --> 01:30:43,481
[MENACING MUSIC PLAYING]
[PIGS SNORTING]
1819
01:30:51,315 --> 01:30:52,447
[GASPS]
1820
01:30:52,534 --> 01:30:54,492
I'm going to have
to cut off your arm
1821
01:30:54,579 --> 01:30:56,276
or you're going to die.
1822
01:30:57,060 --> 01:30:59,410
Try to stay calm.
Can't it wait till tomorrow?
1823
01:30:59,584 --> 01:31:00,455
I'm afraid not, sir.
1824
01:31:00,585 --> 01:31:01,630
But the Duke and Duchess
are coming!
1825
01:31:01,804 --> 01:31:03,632
Sir!
Please!
1826
01:31:04,067 --> 01:31:05,460
You're going to die!
1827
01:31:05,677 --> 01:31:08,854
[SCREAMS]
1828
01:31:17,384 --> 01:31:20,170
[SINISTER MUSIC PLAYING]
1829
01:31:28,091 --> 01:31:29,658
[HISSES, GROANS]
1830
01:31:29,788 --> 01:31:32,443
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
1831
01:31:32,530 --> 01:31:33,488
Oh, arm.
1832
01:31:46,718 --> 01:31:49,982
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
1833
01:31:51,810 --> 01:31:53,769
[GRUNTS, HISSES]
1834
01:32:00,384 --> 01:32:01,298
[CHUCKLES]
1835
01:32:04,954 --> 01:32:09,567
[SNICKERS]
1836
01:32:09,654 --> 01:32:12,222
[INHALES, HISSES, EXHALES]
1837
01:32:16,313 --> 01:32:18,968
[INHALES] "I'd like
to thank you all
1838
01:32:19,055 --> 01:32:22,624
for your generous
attendance and..."
1839
01:32:22,972 --> 01:32:25,583
[GRUNTS] Oh.
1840
01:32:26,279 --> 01:32:28,891
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
1841
01:32:29,021 --> 01:32:32,285
"I'd like to thank you all
for your generous attendance
1842
01:32:32,416 --> 01:32:35,201
and decorous gifts."
1843
01:32:35,898 --> 01:32:39,205
"We are humbled and honored
1844
01:32:39,815 --> 01:32:43,427
to host the Duke and Duchess
1845
01:32:43,732 --> 01:32:47,083
on such a glorious...
[GROANS, GASPS] ...evening."
1846
01:32:47,213 --> 01:32:50,652
[BREATHES HEAVILY, GROANS]
1847
01:32:52,610 --> 01:32:55,570
[MUMBLES] Such a glorious...
Such a glorious...
1848
01:32:55,744 --> 01:32:59,138
Oh, courage, mon frère.
1849
01:33:00,139 --> 01:33:01,184
No ears.
1850
01:33:03,795 --> 01:33:08,670
"Host the Duke and Duchess
on such a... glorious evening."
1851
01:33:08,844 --> 01:33:11,063
[INHALES SHARPLY, GROANS]
1852
01:33:11,324 --> 01:33:13,631
[HISSES] Shit!
1853
01:33:13,718 --> 01:33:15,677
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
DARBY: Need help, sir?
1854
01:33:15,764 --> 01:33:19,419
SIR CHAUNCEY: Not now, Darby.
Just give me a moment.
1855
01:33:19,506 --> 01:33:22,988
[GROANS, BREATHES HEAVILY]
1856
01:33:26,426 --> 01:33:31,606
Oh, not bad, old boy.
Not bad at all.
1857
01:33:32,519 --> 01:33:34,043
Now for the final touch.
1858
01:33:37,307 --> 01:33:38,656
[GASPS SOFTLY]
1859
01:33:40,223 --> 01:33:43,182
C'est magnifique.
1860
01:33:44,183 --> 01:33:46,795
[SINISTER MUSIC BUILDS]
1861
01:33:55,542 --> 01:33:57,936
I know you were quite fond
of Mr Halifax.
1862
01:33:59,329 --> 01:34:01,418
I hope you don't hold
his unfortunate passing
1863
01:34:01,505 --> 01:34:02,462
against me,
1864
01:34:02,985 --> 01:34:05,422
and that we can continue
working together as we were.
1865
01:34:05,814 --> 01:34:07,772
Put this whole sordid mess
behind us.
1866
01:34:09,513 --> 01:34:11,123
If tonight goes as planned,
1867
01:34:11,689 --> 01:34:13,648
then we all stand to gain
immeasurably.
1868
01:34:13,996 --> 01:34:14,866
But...
1869
01:34:17,608 --> 01:34:19,218
Well, I hope you can forgive me,
1870
01:34:20,611 --> 01:34:22,004
as I have forgiven you.
1871
01:34:28,532 --> 01:34:29,620
Yes, ma'am.
1872
01:34:29,751 --> 01:34:34,407
[HOOVES CLOMPING]
[CLEARS THROAT, EXHALES]
1873
01:34:40,805 --> 01:34:42,459
FANNY: The moon passed
in front of the sun
1874
01:34:42,633 --> 01:34:44,766
for exactly three minutes
and 33 seconds,
1875
01:34:44,853 --> 01:34:47,072
precisely as Mr Halley
had predicted.
1876
01:34:47,159 --> 01:34:49,858
[CLICKS TONGUE] You're
a radiant creature, my love.
1877
01:34:50,380 --> 01:34:52,338
I don't know how
or when it happened,
1878
01:34:52,774 --> 01:34:53,949
but you're all grown up.
1879
01:34:54,036 --> 01:34:56,255
But I loathe grown-ups, Mama.
I know.
1880
01:34:56,429 --> 01:34:59,824
Now, no talk of eclipses
and Mr Halley at the dinner.
1881
01:34:59,911 --> 01:35:01,391
And certainly no mice.
1882
01:35:02,261 --> 01:35:03,915
I don't know
what's wrong with them.
1883
01:35:04,046 --> 01:35:05,874
Guinevere and Wolly
are acting terribly bizarre.
1884
01:35:05,961 --> 01:35:07,484
They keep walking in circles
1885
01:35:07,571 --> 01:35:09,486
and making
the strangest of sounds. [GASPS]
1886
01:35:09,573 --> 01:35:11,706
[MICE SQUEAK]
LADY SAVAGE: Oh...
1887
01:35:13,098 --> 01:35:14,883
FANNY:
Doesn't sound good, does it?
1888
01:35:15,100 --> 01:35:18,147
[SINISTER MUSIC CONTINUES]
1889
01:35:22,542 --> 01:35:25,763
[SIR CHAUNCEY BREATHES SHAKILY]
1890
01:35:25,981 --> 01:35:28,548
Stand still.
[GROANS] I'm trying.
1891
01:35:29,549 --> 01:35:31,813
Does it hurt?
Unfathomably.
1892
01:35:32,901 --> 01:35:34,641
Do you think anyone will notice?
1893
01:35:36,208 --> 01:35:37,296
Er...
1894
01:35:40,256 --> 01:35:43,520
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
1895
01:36:00,885 --> 01:36:03,148
[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
1896
01:36:14,464 --> 01:36:17,336
[CLOCK TICKING]
1897
01:36:17,423 --> 01:36:20,470
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
1898
01:36:38,183 --> 01:36:40,403
Compliments to the chef.
ANGUS: Ma'am.
1899
01:36:40,490 --> 01:36:42,492
You've outdone yourself,
Mr Walcot. Well done.
1900
01:36:42,579 --> 01:36:43,710
ANGUS: Thank you, sir.
1901
01:36:48,106 --> 01:36:49,542
[MUFFLED KNOCKING ON DOOR]
1902
01:36:49,673 --> 01:36:51,588
Must be the Duke.
They're early.
1903
01:36:51,675 --> 01:36:54,199
No, you stay here,
my love. Darby.
1904
01:37:00,727 --> 01:37:04,862
FANNY: Is your arm all right?
[SHUSHES, GASPS]
1905
01:37:05,167 --> 01:37:10,041
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
1906
01:37:14,741 --> 01:37:18,441
No, no, no, no.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
1907
01:37:23,533 --> 01:37:24,969
Oh, it's you.
1908
01:37:25,448 --> 01:37:28,930
How lovely to see you.
Are they here yet?
1909
01:37:29,452 --> 01:37:31,454
Not yet.
MRS BENNETT: Oh, splendid.
1910
01:37:31,584 --> 01:37:34,544
I hope you don't mind,
we, erm, came a little early.
1911
01:37:34,631 --> 01:37:36,938
No, no. Not at all. [CHUCKLES]
1912
01:37:37,764 --> 01:37:39,592
Oh!
MR BENNETT: Yeah. Oh, oh!
1913
01:37:39,679 --> 01:37:42,813
As a precautionary measure,
I feel I should warn you
1914
01:37:42,900 --> 01:37:45,816
that there were certain
complications after the duel
1915
01:37:45,990 --> 01:37:49,211
and, er, Chauncey's arm
had to be amputated.
1916
01:37:49,298 --> 01:37:51,778
[GASPS] Erm. Is he all right?
Er...
1917
01:37:51,953 --> 01:37:54,520
No, he's in perfect health,
excluding the missing limb.
1918
01:37:54,607 --> 01:37:56,131
But I implore you
not to speak of
1919
01:37:56,218 --> 01:37:58,873
or look at his arm,
or lack thereof.
1920
01:37:59,003 --> 01:38:00,265
Not a word. Yeah?
Hmm.
1921
01:38:00,352 --> 01:38:01,832
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
[BOTH GASP]
1922
01:38:01,919 --> 01:38:04,879
[EXHALES, CLEARS THROAT, GASPS]
1923
01:38:06,445 --> 01:38:09,927
Lady Savage,
I hope we're not intruding.
1924
01:38:10,101 --> 01:38:12,408
Oh, no, not at all.
You must be Mr Black.
1925
01:38:12,538 --> 01:38:14,105
What a pleasure to meet you.
1926
01:38:15,280 --> 01:38:18,109
As a precautionary measure,
I feel I should warn you...
1927
01:38:18,240 --> 01:38:20,982
[MELODIC HARPSICHORD PLAYING]
[GUESTS LAUGHING]
1928
01:38:21,069 --> 01:38:23,288
The syphilitic whore
was so advanced
1929
01:38:23,419 --> 01:38:25,856
that she collapsed
and died beneath him.
1930
01:38:25,943 --> 01:38:28,859
He had penile warts,
and she did too!
1931
01:38:28,946 --> 01:38:31,427
[GUESTS LAUGHING]
Well, we're here.
1932
01:38:31,862 --> 01:38:33,472
Should have been with us,
of course,
1933
01:38:33,559 --> 01:38:35,126
but the best laid plans...
1934
01:38:35,213 --> 01:38:37,912
Yes, but you can't host a dinner
with half an arm, can you?
1935
01:38:37,999 --> 01:38:39,652
It's grotesque.
MR BENNETT: I suppose
1936
01:38:39,739 --> 01:38:41,263
they've made
a decent fist of it.
1937
01:38:41,350 --> 01:38:42,307
MRS BENNETT: Mm. Had to sell
1938
01:38:42,438 --> 01:38:44,048
all the family heirlooms,
apparently
1939
01:38:44,179 --> 01:38:45,049
Really?
Mother's earrings.
1940
01:38:45,136 --> 01:38:46,007
Hmm.
1941
01:38:46,485 --> 01:38:48,009
Darling, however did you procure
such an invitation?
1942
01:38:48,096 --> 01:38:52,317
Mr Savage is a very,
er, dear colleague.
1943
01:38:53,928 --> 01:38:57,105
Oh, darling.
When the time comes,
1944
01:38:57,192 --> 01:38:58,845
would you like me
to cut up your food for you,
1945
01:38:58,933 --> 01:39:00,325
so as not to draw attention?
1946
01:39:01,544 --> 01:39:02,893
[MOUTHS] I love you.
1947
01:39:04,590 --> 01:39:06,462
[SIGHS]
1948
01:39:08,072 --> 01:39:10,901
[MENACING MUSIC PLAYING]
[GRUNTS]
1949
01:39:14,774 --> 01:39:18,126
MR BENNETT: [WHISPERS]
Where are they? [CLOCK TICKS]
1950
01:39:18,256 --> 01:39:20,345
NARRATOR: As the hours
began to slip away,
1951
01:39:20,432 --> 01:39:23,392
an unsettling dread
washed over the room.
1952
01:39:25,698 --> 01:39:28,963
Fanny fed her sickly mouse
beneath the table... [MICE SQUEAK]
1953
01:39:30,486 --> 01:39:33,489
...as Chauncey's nub
bled through its bandage. [GROANS]
1954
01:39:36,187 --> 01:39:39,974
[GROANS SOFTLY]
[CHUCKLES, WHISPERS] Darling.
1955
01:39:40,670 --> 01:39:42,367
Darling,
I think you're bleeding.
1956
01:39:42,454 --> 01:39:44,065
[SIR CHAUNCEY BREATHES HEAVILY]
1957
01:39:48,156 --> 01:39:51,333
[LADY SAVAGE CLEARS THROAT]
NARRATOR: Whispers and glances of suspicion spread.
1958
01:39:51,507 --> 01:39:53,422
[SIR CHAUNCEY GROANS]
NARRATOR: Parched throats cleared.
1959
01:39:53,509 --> 01:39:55,032
MRS BLACK: Darling, do you think
they're coming?
1960
01:39:55,119 --> 01:39:56,251
I don't know.
1961
01:39:56,381 --> 01:39:58,209
MRS BLACK:: It's getting late.
I know.
1962
01:39:58,470 --> 01:39:59,515
MRS BLACK:: Darling.
1963
01:40:04,302 --> 01:40:05,216
[GRUNTS]
1964
01:40:10,787 --> 01:40:11,875
[GROANS]
1965
01:40:11,962 --> 01:40:13,094
FANNY:
They're not coming, are they?
1966
01:40:13,181 --> 01:40:16,271
CHAUNCEY: They're coming.
They're coming.
1967
01:40:17,272 --> 01:40:19,100
Perhaps
they're fashionably late.
1968
01:40:19,187 --> 01:40:20,231
Fashionably?
1969
01:40:24,366 --> 01:40:26,063
I knew it.
1970
01:40:27,760 --> 01:40:30,285
NARRATOR: Everyone perched
perilously still,
1971
01:40:30,372 --> 01:40:32,113
as if posing for a portrait,
1972
01:40:32,330 --> 01:40:34,811
when the one-eyed
Jacobite's knees... [GROANS]
1973
01:40:34,898 --> 01:40:36,508
...began to grow flimsy.
1974
01:40:36,595 --> 01:40:37,988
Don't even think of it!
1975
01:40:39,337 --> 01:40:41,078
But, sir...
But nothing.
1976
01:40:42,079 --> 01:40:44,777
You've been fed,
bathed, and paid handsomely
1977
01:40:44,864 --> 01:40:46,214
to stand your ground
1978
01:40:46,301 --> 01:40:48,085
till the completion
of our dinner,
1979
01:40:48,172 --> 01:40:50,827
whenever that might take place.
1980
01:40:50,914 --> 01:40:52,307
No one is to move!
[GASPS]
1981
01:40:52,785 --> 01:40:55,788
Not an inch,
not an errant cough...
1982
01:40:57,660 --> 01:40:59,009
or flared nostril.
1983
01:41:00,750 --> 01:41:04,449
Am I understood, hmm? Hmm?
1984
01:41:04,754 --> 01:41:06,451
[YELLS] What are you all
bloody looking at?
1985
01:41:06,582 --> 01:41:07,974
How dare you!
1986
01:41:08,062 --> 01:41:09,150
[GRUNTS SOFTLY]
1987
01:41:09,889 --> 01:41:12,675
[SOBBING] Don't look at me.
I'm hideous!
1988
01:41:12,762 --> 01:41:15,721
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
1989
01:41:18,202 --> 01:41:19,508
Papa, may I be excused?
1990
01:41:19,595 --> 01:41:21,466
Everyone is to remain
as they are!
1991
01:41:21,553 --> 01:41:23,120
They could be here any second!
1992
01:41:25,166 --> 01:41:28,169
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
1993
01:41:28,256 --> 01:41:30,475
Darling, be calm.
1994
01:41:31,737 --> 01:41:34,044
Be calm. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
1995
01:41:34,349 --> 01:41:39,658
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
[PIG GRUNTING, SNORTING]
1996
01:41:44,750 --> 01:41:47,971
[EERIE MUSIC BUILDS]
1997
01:42:01,071 --> 01:42:03,726
[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
1998
01:42:05,684 --> 01:42:09,297
["STABAT MATER"
BY SCHUBERT PLAYING]
1999
01:42:09,384 --> 01:42:11,908
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[CROWS CAWING]
2000
01:42:40,197 --> 01:42:43,679
[GUESTS SNORING]
2001
01:43:02,045 --> 01:43:06,571
[GUESTS SNORING]
[CHOIR SINGING]
2002
01:43:09,270 --> 01:43:10,793
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
[GUESTS GASP, EXCLAIM]
2003
01:43:10,880 --> 01:43:12,055
[MUSIC STOPS]
Reginald!
2004
01:43:12,186 --> 01:43:14,927
Reginald, answer the door.
It's them!
2005
01:43:15,014 --> 01:43:18,670
[GUESTS SQUEAL, CHUCKLE]
[HESITATES] Darby, quickly, answer the door!
2006
01:43:18,757 --> 01:43:19,889
Yes, sir.
2007
01:43:20,019 --> 01:43:21,804
[GASPS] It's them!
[EXCITED CHATTER]
2008
01:43:22,500 --> 01:43:26,852
It's them! [CHUCKLES, SIGHS]
[GUESTS MURMUR, GASP]
2009
01:43:26,983 --> 01:43:29,115
SIR CHAUNCEY:
I knew they'd come. [GRUMBLES]
2010
01:43:29,246 --> 01:43:30,595
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
2011
01:43:33,859 --> 01:43:35,774
From the Duke and Duchess
of Devonshire.
2012
01:43:35,905 --> 01:43:37,689
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
2013
01:43:45,523 --> 01:43:46,611
MESSENGER: Good day.
2014
01:43:52,661 --> 01:43:54,228
[CHUCKLES, SIGHS]
2015
01:43:54,793 --> 01:43:56,578
[GASPS]
SIR CHAUNCEY: Hmm?
2016
01:43:59,233 --> 01:44:01,539
[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
2017
01:44:01,626 --> 01:44:04,673
[LADY SAVAGE BREATHES SHAKILY]
2018
01:44:05,413 --> 01:44:06,501
[INHALES SHARPLY]
2019
01:44:16,511 --> 01:44:20,384
[MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYING]
2020
01:44:20,776 --> 01:44:22,691
"We hope this letter
finds you well."
2021
01:44:24,432 --> 01:44:25,737
"It has come to our attention
2022
01:44:25,824 --> 01:44:28,740
that Lord Vernon
and his family...
2023
01:44:28,827 --> 01:44:30,046
[INHALES SHAKILY]
2024
01:44:30,133 --> 01:44:32,091
...didn't have pox after all."
2025
01:44:33,615 --> 01:44:37,445
"They're doing quite well now,
and in good spirits."
2026
01:44:37,532 --> 01:44:39,621
[GUESTS GASPING, MUTTERING]
2027
01:44:39,708 --> 01:44:40,752
"And thus...
2028
01:44:42,406 --> 01:44:46,149
the Duke and Duchess
will sadly not be joining you."
2029
01:44:46,236 --> 01:44:49,457
[GUESTS GASPING]
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
2030
01:44:49,544 --> 01:44:52,634
"We hope our indecision
has not brought you
2031
01:44:52,721 --> 01:44:55,245
any inconvenience or harm,
2032
01:44:56,551 --> 01:44:59,380
and hope to meet you
on our next tour."
2033
01:45:01,469 --> 01:45:03,297
"Our footmen
shall arrive tomorrow
2034
01:45:03,384 --> 01:45:04,733
to retrieve our luggage."
2035
01:45:06,387 --> 01:45:08,389
"Sincerely,
the House of Devonshire."
2036
01:45:08,476 --> 01:45:10,652
[GUESTS GRUMBLING]
2037
01:45:17,223 --> 01:45:21,315
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
2038
01:45:34,893 --> 01:45:36,808
NARRATOR:
The Duke and Duchess would,
2039
01:45:36,895 --> 01:45:39,028
of course, never come.
2040
01:45:40,116 --> 01:45:42,031
["STABAT MATER"
BY SCHUBERT PLAYING]
2041
01:45:42,118 --> 01:45:43,685
NARRATOR:
And the Savages would fall
2042
01:45:43,772 --> 01:45:45,991
precipitously into ruin.
2043
01:45:47,558 --> 01:45:50,779
Their reckless spending
and careless behavior
2044
01:45:50,866 --> 01:45:53,259
would leave
their once-illustrious home
2045
01:45:53,347 --> 01:45:55,653
nothing more
than a poisonous plot.
2046
01:45:56,567 --> 01:45:59,048
A crippling burden
for young Fanny
2047
01:45:59,135 --> 01:46:00,702
and generations to come.
2048
01:46:01,833 --> 01:46:04,793
When one consumes
at such a perilous pace... [GASPS]
2049
01:46:04,880 --> 01:46:07,796
...purchasing and devouring
everything around them,
2050
01:46:08,318 --> 01:46:11,060
inevitably,
they'll devour themselves
2051
01:46:11,843 --> 01:46:13,497
from limb to limb.
2052
01:46:13,584 --> 01:46:16,805
[FANNY SOBS]
2053
01:46:19,938 --> 01:46:21,113
[DOOR CLOSING]
2054
01:46:22,941 --> 01:46:25,553
NARRATOR: A rake's progress
is one of descent
2055
01:46:25,683 --> 01:46:26,771
and degradation.
2056
01:46:29,383 --> 01:46:32,647
For the social ladder
can be precarious...
2057
01:46:33,648 --> 01:46:35,345
if you're not careful.
2058
01:46:36,955 --> 01:46:39,958
[WAILS, SOBS] Unhand me!
2059
01:46:40,568 --> 01:46:43,832
Mr Black! [SCREAMS]
2060
01:46:43,919 --> 01:46:48,489
[GROANS, MUTTERS, SOBS]
2061
01:46:48,576 --> 01:46:49,664
MR BLACK: To Fleet!
2062
01:46:49,794 --> 01:46:51,840
[HORSE NEIGHING]
SIR CHAUNCEY: Georgina!
2063
01:46:52,536 --> 01:46:54,669
I'm sorry!
[HOOVES CLOMPING]
2064
01:46:54,756 --> 01:46:56,584
SIR CHAUNCEY: Georgina!
2065
01:46:58,107 --> 01:46:59,413
[HORSE NEIGHING]
2066
01:46:59,500 --> 01:47:01,850
[GRUNTS]
Sit still!
2067
01:47:01,937 --> 01:47:03,721
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
2068
01:47:03,808 --> 01:47:05,462
Finally, Savage.
2069
01:47:05,593 --> 01:47:07,377
[CELL DOOR CREAKING, CLOSING]
2070
01:47:09,640 --> 01:47:14,297
[PIG GRUNTING, SNORTING]
2071
01:47:14,384 --> 01:47:17,692
[PIG SQUEALING]
2072
01:47:19,737 --> 01:47:23,393
[PIG GRUNTING, GROWLING]
[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
2073
01:47:28,224 --> 01:47:32,446
["DON GIOVANNI OVERTURE"
BY MOZART PLAYING]
2074
01:53:04,168 --> 01:53:06,867
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
2075
01:53:27,148 --> 01:53:30,194
[MUSIC CONCLUDES]